IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

SOME BELIEVE THAT UNPAID COMMUNITY SERVICE SHOULD BE A COMPULSORY PART OF HIGH SCHOOL PROGRAMMER (FOR EXAMPLE WORKING FOR A CHARITY, IMPROVING THE NEIGHBORHOOD AND TEACHING SPORTS TO YOUNGER CHILDREN). TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

In the modernised world, teaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 about volunteering is
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 approach. It is widely believed that it should be mandatory for children to participate in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
non-monetary communities
such
Linking Words
 as NGOs, helping neighbours and
guidance
Verb problem
providing guidance
show examples
 to younger children. I totally agree with the notion because of
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
 involvement and will know the responsibility of the society.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one major advantage of being a part of unpaid communities is that they can learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new life skills and understand the feelings of needy people. To explain it,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
assisting some individuals in their tough times
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 can build empathy in their
heart
Fix the agreement mistake
hearts
show examples
 and become a kind person.
Additionally
Linking Words
, learners learn how to communicate
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and get to know about their situations.
For example
Linking Words
, numerous institutions in
ahmedabad
Fix capitalization
Ahmedabad
show examples
 have
tied-up
Use the right word
tied up
show examples
 with myriad NGOs, so they bring their academic
students
Use synonyms
 to that place to work
their
Use the right word
there
show examples
. Another advantage is that
educationers
Correct your spelling
educators
 will become
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
generous
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
 respectable
humankinds
Correct your spelling
human beings
. To specify it, when pupils have maturity and better
person
Replace the word
personal
show examples
 qualities, it will obviously make them successful in their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it will
also
Linking Words
 boost their social interaction skills.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the USA, colleges send their
students
Use synonyms
 to do volunteering for free to gain knowledge and build networking.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it aids them to get better opportunities in their career.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is believed that helping
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others will not only enhance their decision-making and feelings but
also
Linking Words
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
reflect their personalities
different
Replace the word
differently
show examples
 from others.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

positive highlights
Your essay shows a clear view and some good signs of plan. It gives reasons to agree. Use more clear, full examples that fit the topic to get a higher mark.
task response
coherence
Link ideas with smooth and clear ties. Each paragraph should have a topic sentence that states the main idea. Use simple words and keep order.
editing
Check grammar and form. Fix errors like plural, verb form, and spelling. Use correct word forms and punctuation.
task response
Clear position is stated in the introduction and kept through the essay.
coherence
Use linking words to show flow between ideas.
task response
There are some specific examples, like USA and Ahmedabad.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: