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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 

The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. 
This
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 graph depicts the information about the number of
books
Use synonyms
 read by
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 at Burnaby Public Library between 2011 and 2014. The data are given in numbers.
Overall
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, it can be seen clearly that the reading habit of
men
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 increased throughout the period.
In contrast
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, the ratio of
women
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
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started decreasing as compared to
men
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, the number of
books
Use synonyms
 read by
men
Use synonyms
 at the beginning of the year 2011
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 was approximately 3000. The rate of reading
books
Use synonyms
 started
steadily
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to steadily
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 increase till 2012, after that its rate went up drastically and reached
at
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apply
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10,000 by 2013. Since
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at
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apply
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the end of the year 2014, it became the highest point of
Burnaby
Correct article usage
the Burnaby
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 Public Library.
Moreover
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,
Women
Use synonyms
 's book reading habit was less
as
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apply
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compared to
men
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.
However
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, the number of
books
Use synonyms
 read by
women
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased gradually, but its greatest point was in 2013, when the numbers were
,
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apply
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 10,000
, after
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. After
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that
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that,
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 their
tendencie
Correct your spelling
trend
 went down and reached
at
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apply
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7,000, respectively. Eventually, it is clear
Use synonyms
men's
Correct word choice
that men's
show examples
Use synonyms
books reading
Correct word order
reading books
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interest
Check wording
apply
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 higher
till
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from
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 2011 to 2014.

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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