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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that children should be allowed to go out for outdoor activities. While others believe that children should stay at home most of the time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In
this
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 modern era, the question of whether
children
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 should spend their
time
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 outdoors or remain at
home
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 has become the subject of considerable debate. Some people contend that outdoor activities are essential for
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children’s
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development
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,
whereas
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 others maintain that staying indoors provides greater safety and academic focus. In my opinion,
although
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 remaining at
home
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 offers certain advantages,
children
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 should be encouraged to play outside regularly because it promotes their physical health and social
development
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. On the one hand, some parents prefer their
children
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 to stay at
home
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 because it provides a safer and more controlled environment. Under adult supervision,
children
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 are less likely to encounter dangers
such
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 as traffic accidents or criminal activity.
Moreover
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, staying indoors allows them to spend more
time
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 reading, completing homework, and developing useful skills.
For example
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, many students achieve better academic results when they study in a quiet environment.
Therefore
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, remaining at
home
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 can improve both safety and educational performance.
On the other hand
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, outdoor activities offer a wide range of benefits that are essential for
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children’s
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overall
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 growth. Physical exercise strengthens the body,
while
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 interaction with peers helps
children
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 develop communication and teamwork skills.
For instance
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,
children
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 who play football or ride bicycles often become more confident and emotionally resilient.
In addition
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, spending
time
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 outdoors reduces screen use and supports mental well-being.
Consequently
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, outdoor play is indispensable for
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children’s
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 holistic
development
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. In conclusion,
while
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 staying at
home
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 may provide greater security and better study habits, I firmly believe that outdoor activities are far more beneficial. A balanced lifestyle that combines supervised outdoor play with productive
time
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 at
home
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 is the most effective way to support
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children’s
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development
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.

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task response
Add one more real and clear example to make your ideas stronger.
task response
You answer both sides well, but you can explain your own view a little more.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow, but you can use a few more linking words between some sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Some points are good, but a little more detail in each body paragraph would make the essay better.
task response
You answer all parts of the task and give a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea and good support.
task response
Your examples are relevant and easy to understand.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fresh air
  • physical health
  • mental health
  • social skills
  • team work
  • build confidence
  • stay active
  • screen time
  • safe environment
  • parental control
  • focus on study
  • quiet place
  • reduce stress
  • make friends
  • sense of freedom
  • balanced life
  • clear rules
  • adult care
  • outdoor play
  • home safety
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