IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The monthly expenditure of two companies A and B are 90 lakhs and 95 lakhs, respectively. The following piecharts shows their monthly expenses for various sections

The pie charts illustrate the monthly spending of two companies
A
Punctuation problem
, A
show examples
and B
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are 90 lakhs and 95 lakhs respectively. The units are measured in percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both charts that employees
represents
Correct subject-verb agreement
represent
show examples
 the largest proportion,
while
Linking Words
 machinery indicates the smallest proportion. Raw materials and transportation approximately have equal shares in both charts.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown in the first chart, Employees
constitutes
Correct subject-verb agreement
constitute
show examples
 the dominant portion in company
A.
Use the right word
A
show examples
accounting
Punctuation problem
, accounting
show examples
30
Change preposition
for 30
show examples
% of the total. Transporting comes in the second place, forming 25% of the monthly spending, followed by tax and raw materials , which
accounts
Correct subject-verb agreement
account
show examples
 for 20% and 18% respectively. Machinery constitutes the tiniest percentage, composing just 7% of the total. In terms of the second chart, company B depicts that Employees
also
Linking Words
represents
Correct subject-verb agreement
represent
show examples
 the highest proportion, constituting 34% of the total,
whereas
Linking Words
 machinery makes up just 6% of the total. Transportation shows a significant percentage, which is 23%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
.
raw
Fix capitalization
Raw
show examples
 materials and tax
nearlly
Correct your spelling
nearly
 have equal
share
Fix the agreement mistake
shares
show examples
, each at 19% and 18% of the monthly expenditure.

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content
Task response: You wrote about both charts and gave many numbers. Some details are not clear or exact. Check each chart and use the right numbers.
structure
Coherence and cohesion: Use a plan. Start with a short intro, then compare the charts, then finish with a short end. Use link words to show how ideas go together.
grammar
Grammar: Watch noun form. 'Employees' is plural; use 'constitute' with 'Employees'. Fix typos such as 'nearlly' -> 'nearly'.
data
Numbers: keep the same way to show percentages for both charts. If you use percent sign, be consistent.
structure
Order: match the way you talk about each chart. Put the highest share first in each chart, then the next, to help the reader.
content
The main idea is clear: employees have the largest share in both charts.
data
You give the main figures for both charts to show the compare.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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