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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some believe that men and women are equal and so women can do everything that men do. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs that are not suitable for women.

Some individuals believe that
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 are equal and
women
Use synonyms
 are eligible to do any jobs,
whereas
Linking Words
 others argue that
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 are not equal, which makes
women
Use synonyms
not
Rephrase
apply
show examples
suitable
Use the right word
unsuitable
show examples
 for a specific kind of work.
This
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 essay examines both perspectives and presents my own opinion. On one hand,
women
Use synonyms
 can play a crucial role in the community
as
Change preposition
like
show examples
men
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is
due to
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 the fact that educational institutions are trained and equipped to enhance
women
Use synonyms
’s skills by providing practical courses, especially when we talk about medical care. Nowadays, adolescents and older people suffer from long-term psychological conditions, including depression, anxiety, and social isolation, and
women
Use synonyms
 can act as a medical deterrent to treat them.
Moreover
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,
women
Use synonyms
 can reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stressful environments
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 work by making proper decisions.
For instance
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, a study conducted in the United Kingdom revealed that countries which involved
women
Use synonyms
 in high-ranking positions showed altruism and beneficence on both local and global levels.
On the other hand
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, it is a commonly held belief that
women
Use synonyms
 lack physical strength and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not possess the necessary skills for certain jobs as
men
Use synonyms
.
Verb problem
do.
show examples
 The main reason is that
women
Use synonyms
 traditionally stayed at home to raise children
instead
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 of engaging in full-time work.
Although
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this
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 fact has changed, developing countries still prevent
women
Use synonyms
 from working.
For example
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, a statistic showed that 40% of countries have cultural traditions that restrict
women
Use synonyms
 from working. In conclusion, despite the opinion that
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 are not equal, and
consequently
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, certain jobs are not suitable for
women
Use synonyms
, I tend to believe that
women
Use synonyms
 can play a vital role by providing treatment.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they can make a positive impact if they are involved in high-ranking positions.

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language use
Use plain, exact words. Some word choice is wrong for the idea.
grammar
Make short, clear sentences. Many lines are long and hard to read.
content
Give more clear reasons for each idea and link them to your view.
composition
Keep a neutral tone when you present both sides and then show your own view.
structure
The essay uses a clear plan with intro, two sides, and a conclusion.
coherence
Links show contrast (On one hand/On the other hand).
task response
Your own view is seen in the end.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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