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Writing Samples
Band 5

The table below shows the sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday. ielts-academic-coffee-shop-sales Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The table below shows the sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday. ielts-academic-coffee-shop-sales Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
This
Linking Words
 table illustrates the information about a
coffee
Use synonyms
shope
Correct your spelling
shop
 in an office building. It shows the sales in numbers. The
coffee
Use synonyms
 shop offers
baverages
Correct your spelling
beverages
,
Pastries
Use synonyms
, and Sandwiches.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen clearly that
Coffee
Use synonyms
 is more popular in public
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than tea.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
demand
Correct article usage
the demand
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 sandwiches and
pastries
Use synonyms
 depends on timing.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, more than 100
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 cups of
coffee
Use synonyms
 were used in the morning and afternoon
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 more than 200
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 were used in
evening
Correct article usage
the evening
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
pastries
Use synonyms
 were the second highest product in the office
which were
Verb problem
that
show examples
 people used. It was sold 100, plus in the morning and evening
time
Use synonyms
,
may be
Use the right word
maybe
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 cup of
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of Sandwiches
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 lower in the morning
Use synonyms
time
Check wording
apply
show examples
as compared to
coffee
Use synonyms
, tea, and
pastries
Use synonyms
. Since, at the mid
time
Use synonyms
 of work at 10.30
t0
Correct your spelling
to
 2.30, it was sold 200
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 pieces respectively. It
also
Linking Words
 had
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher numbers in
evening
Correct article usage
the evening
show examples
Check wording
apply
show examples
time
Use synonyms
. Eventually, if we see
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
sale
Punctuation problem
sale,
show examples
then
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
it is clear that
Linking Words
coffee
Use synonyms
 had
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 greatest
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
 in all the times.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, pastries, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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