IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018
The bar chart reveals data about how families in one country use their weekly income from 1968 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the household in 1968 spent the most weekly income on food.
While
Linking Words
 the families in 2018 spent their money on leisure and housing. In 1968, the majority of the weekly salary was spent on food by 35%. The housing, clothing, and footwear were at the same level at 10%. Seriously, personal goods and transport were both approximately 5%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, leisure was slightly less 10%. In 2018, the fuel and personal goods were less than 5%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they spent the most income on leisure by more than 20%.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Weekly income
  • Expenditure
  • Consumption patterns
  • Cost of living
  • Discretionary spending
  • Inflation
  • Economic indicators
  • Demographics
  • Socio-economic factors
  • Technology advancements
  • Government policies
  • Consumerism
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Fiscal habits
  • Budget allocation
  • Financial priorities
  • Societal trends
  • Purchasing power
  • Income distribution
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