IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Tourism has increased so much over the last 50 years that it is having a mainly negative impact on local inhabitants and the environment. However, others claim that it is good for the economy. Discuss the advantage and disadvantages of tourism and give your opinion.

Tourism
Use synonyms
 has grown rapidly over the past fifty years. Some people believe
this
Linking Words
 has mainly negative effects on local people and the environment,
while
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 others argue that it brings economic benefits.
This
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 essay will discuss both views before giving my opinion. On the positive side,
tourism
Use synonyms
 can boost the economy. Visitors spend money on hotels, restaurants, and attractions, which creates jobs for local people.
For example
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, cities like Paris and Bangkok rely on
tourism
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 to support workers in hotels, shops, and transport.
Tourism
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also
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 encourages governments to improve infrastructure,
such
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 as roads and public transport, which benefits both visitors and residents.
However
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,
tourism
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 can
also
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 have serious negative effects. Large numbers of tourists can cause pollution, damage natural areas, and increase waste. Local communities may face higher living costs, crowded streets, and changes to their traditional culture as it is
commercialized
Change the spelling
commercialised
show examples
 for visitors. In some cases, residents may feel their way of life is disrupted. In my opinion,
tourism
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 is beneficial for the economy, but its negative effects cannot be ignored. Governments should promote sustainable
tourism
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,
for example
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 by limiting visitor numbers and protecting the environment, so that both the economy and local communities can benefit. In conclusion,
while
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tourism
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 brings financial advantages, it
also
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 poses challenges for the environment and society. Careful management is essential to make
tourism
Use synonyms
 sustainable.

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coherence
Link ideas with more simple words to show clear flow from one point to the next.
content
Give a little more detail on the bad side and add one or two more examples.
structure
Use a clear main idea in each paragraph and end with a short, firm opinion in the last line.
structure
Clear plan with separate parts for view, impact, and view of the writer.
coherence
Good sign words like 'On the positive side' and 'In conclusion' to show the map of the essay.
content
The view is clear and the writer makes their own answer known.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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