Many aspects of the way people dress today are influenced by global fashion trends. How has global fashion become such a strong influence on people’s lives? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is widely observed that global

fashion

Use synonyms

companies have a huge influence on consumers all over the world. How has it been possible for them to own

such

Linking Words

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

massive power compared to the past? I will examine several reasons

as well as

Linking Words

argue my opinion

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

Linking Words

trend. It would not have been possible

Change preposition

without

show examples

there

Use the right word

the

show examples

were not

any

Fix the agreement mistake

apply

show examples

help of technologies, including mobile devices

such

Linking Words

as smartphones or tablets. They continuously expose users to the advertisements of

fashion

Use synonyms

businesses.

As a result

Linking Words

, people can know what kinds of

fashion

Use synonyms

items are

favored

Change the spelling

favoured

show examples

by others without any

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, it became so convenient to buy products online, making it easy for people to purchase ones that are constantly advertised on social media. Throughout

this

Linking Words

process, the companies are now shaping global trends without

boarders

Use the right word

borders

show examples

However

Linking Words

, I strongly argue

this

Linking Words

cannot be considered positive

because of

Change preposition

for

show examples

several reasons. First of all, excessive advertisements strengthen

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

consumerism, which induces individuals to spend money on clothing extravagantly. Unfortunately,

this

Linking Words

frivolous spending does not end with empty wallets. It is now accused of being the main cause of abandoned garments, which threatens developing nations. The fabric wastes are imported to those countries, contaminating the land

as well as

Linking Words

making citizens and livestock sick. Considering

this

Linking Words

, I believe industries have to be more responsible for

this

Linking Words

global hazard and should be restricted to have a limited influence. In conclusion, people should be enlightened by the reality of global

fashion

Use synonyms

trends

even

Punctuation problem

, even

show examples

though they may help to be more fashionable than others. For sustainability, I reckon the public and industries related to

fashion

Use synonyms

should have more responsibilities for the good of our planet.

edwin0316

Nov 2, 2025

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structure

Make your main idea clear in the first part of the essay and keep to it in the rest.

development

Give more proof for each reason. Use small facts or events you know.

linking

Use linking words to join ideas. This helps the flow of the text.

language

Check grammar and choice of words. Some terms are hard or not common. Use simple words.

content

Clear view against the harm of too many ads

structure

There is a plan with an intro and a conclusion

conclusion

The ending asks for care for the world

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

influence
global
trend
fashion
style
fashionable
influencer
celebrity
brand
access
marketing
popular
worldwide
connect
showcase
event
clothing
culture
rise
buy

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