IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that criminal behaviour has genetic causes. Others believe that it is circumstances that lead people to commit a crime. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is widely argued that genetics
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 criminal behaviour,
while
Linking Words
 others think that specific life situations lead to a
crime
Use synonyms
 commitment. In my opinion,
person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
show examples
 criminal activity strongly depends on their genetic code, but there are other factors that can influence
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that. On the one hand,
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
show examples
 background plays
pivotal
Correct article usage
a pivotal
show examples
 role in criminal behaviour. Genetics control most of the
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
 in
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 body
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it includes cognitive functions. If parents or relatives committed a
crime
Use synonyms
, it is most likely
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that
this
Linking Words
 person would be a criminal too.
For example
Linking Words
, researchers from Colorado University have found that 67
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of children with criminal parents are becoming
lawbreaker
Fix the agreement mistake
lawbreakers
show examples
 too.
Therefore
Linking Words
, people’s criminal behaviour strongly depends on their genetic information.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
show examples
 life experiences play
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
show examples
 part in
mind-shaping
Check wording
shaping the mind
show examples
. Every single person goes through different challenges
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 some of them might be hard to overcome. When somebody
placed
Verb problem
is placed
show examples
 in complex circumstances, they usually find themselves unable to escape and in need to commit a
crime
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in ungrateful areas of New York, young men often need to rob or steal to survive, only in one
month
Punctuation problem
month,
show examples
 the number of crimes committed could be higher than two thousand.
Thus
Linking Words
,
crime
Use synonyms
 rates are affected by
peoples'
Check wording
people's
show examples
 surroundings. In conclusion, villainy
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 usually associated with
genome
Correct article usage
the genome
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it is important to take into account that it is not
only
Correct article usage
the only
show examples
 reason for wrongdoing, wrong environment and hard times can contribute to that.

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planning
Plan your essay. Show both views and state your own clear position. Then explain each point with one or two ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Link your ideas with simple words. Use clear links from one thought to the next.
task response
Give clear, realistic examples. Base on real facts if you can, or use simple, believable ideas.
grammar
Check grammar and fixed forms. Watch for 'person’s' and plural 'people', and verb form.
lexical resource
Use common words only. Prefer 'crime' over 'criminal behaviour' to stay simple, but keep accuracy.
lexical resource
Avoid bold word choice like 'villainy'. Use calm and plain words.
task response
The essay tries to cover both sides and to state a view.
coherence and cohesion
It has a clear plan with introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
There are some examples added to show points.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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