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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The diagram below shows how instant noodles are manufactured. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The process provides key information about the production of instant noodles.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that
this
Linking Words
 operation
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
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 several steps
, it
Punctuation problem
. It
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 can be seen from the picture that there are eight stages, beginning with
collecting
Correct article usage
the collecting
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 phase and ending with
labels
Correct article usage
the labels
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 and selling step.
Initially
Linking Words
, the flour brought by
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
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 trunk
to
Verb problem
was to
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 be stored in
silod
Correct article usage
the silod
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.
Then
Linking Words
, it
transferred
Verb problem
was transferred
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 to
designated
Correct article usage
a designated
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 container to smooth it by mixing with water and oil.
Next,
Linking Words
the mixing material
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
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 to
Correct article usage
the rollers
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rollers
Fix the agreement mistake
roller
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 device to convert it to dough sheets.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, these sheets
undergoes
Correct subject-verb agreement
undergo
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to
Change preposition
apply
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intricate cutting to make them like strips.
The
Change preposition
In the
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 fifth and sixth phases
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 strips
noodles
Change preposition
of noodles
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put
Verb problem
are put
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 in discs to
cooking
Wrong verb form
cook
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 with oil and
drying
Wrong verb form
dried
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 after that.
Additionally
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, after cooling the substance, it will be
putt
Use the right word
put
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 in
designed
Correct article usage
the designed
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 cups.
Finally
Linking Words
, a delicious
spices
Fix the agreement mistake
spice
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 and
vegetables
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetable
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flavor
Change the spelling
flavour
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 will
add
Wrong verb form
be added
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in
Change preposition
to
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box
Correct article usage
the box
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. And the items now are ready
to
Change preposition
for
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labels
Use the right word
labelling
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, and distributed to the markets and groceries for selling.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Manufacturing process
  • Noodle dough
  • Steaming
  • Cutting
  • Dough sheeting
  • Molding
  • Air-drying
  • Frying
  • Seasoning
  • Quality control
  • Packaging
  • Shelf life
  • Flavoring agents
  • Texture
  • Instant meal
  • Convenience food
  • Production line
  • Consumer
  • Ingredient mixing
  • Safety standards
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