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Writing Samples
Band 7

the two main graphs show the main sources of energy in the USA in 1980 and 1990. Write a report describing the changes, at least 150 words.

the two main graphs show the main sources of energy in the USA in 1980 and 1990. Write a report describing the changes, at least 150 words.
The pie chart illustrates the differences in sources of energy in the USA from 1980 to 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, the oil had a significant decrease,
while
Linking Words
 the natural gas stayed the same.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the coal had a slight increase.
Similarly
Linking Words
, nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 had a major jump. To add, the hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 remained the same. The oil had a big decrease of 9
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the natural gas had a small change from 26% to 25%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the coal had a 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 climb.
Also
Linking Words
, the nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 increased to double at 10%.
While
Linking Words
 the hydroelectric has not changed, it has remained at 5%.
Although
Linking Words
 the oil production has decreased significantly, it remains the primary source of energy in the USA. It is noticeable that the coal surpasses the natural gas. In 1980, both hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
 and nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 were at 5
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
;
however
Linking Words
, in 1990 the nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 doubled to 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words power, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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