7. Some people believe that the age limit for the drivers should be increased to ensure road safety.

The responsibility of providing safety is on the shoulders of high-ranking officials.
While
Linking Words
some argue that changing the
age
Use synonyms
limit
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
can reduce the risk of road collisions. In my view,
this
Linking Words
regulation does not necessarily secure a safe street. On the one hand, imposing limitations on the
age
Use synonyms
of getting a driving license is imperative. To clarify, there is a definite link between
age
Use synonyms
and ability in controlling devices. The older
people
Use synonyms
are, the more mature their bodies are.
For example
Linking Words
, older
people
Use synonyms
are taller and powerful enough to change gears, and of course, handle the steering. So,
this
Linking Words
provides the chance for
people
Use synonyms
to be full of experience in driving by getting more education under the supervision of experts.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, focusing solely on
age
Use synonyms
is not enough. Some other options make a horrible contribution to motor accidents,
such
Linking Words
as drinking alcohol, abusing drugs, and driving at high speeds.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are some inconsiderate old individuals who drive
while
Linking Words
drunk.
not
Fix capitalization
Not
show examples
only does it endanger their lives, but
also
Linking Words
the lives of many innocent
people
Use synonyms
in more fragile cars.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, stopping the young from driving can lead to dire consequences,
such
Linking Words
as illegal car driving, since the new generation is much more active. They tend to try new things.
As a result
Linking Words
, they may be encouraged to drive without permission. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
the fact that
age
Use synonyms
plays a vital role in the world of learning a new skill, it does not address decreasing accidents alone. In my view, authorities should introduce stricter laws and measures,
instead
Linking Words
of, highlighting the
age
Use synonyms
simply
Correct word order
apply
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
The idea about age is seen, but the reasons are weak and not well proven. Add simple facts or steps that show why age might or might not affect safety.
coherence
Make each part link clearly to your main point. Each sentence should lead to the next with a clear flow.
language
Fix small grammar and cap rules. Use simple, clear sentences.
content
Avoid ideas that do not fit well, like saying older people are taller to drive well; keep ideas close to the topic.
structure
You take a stance and give both sides.
structure
There is a clear outline: intro, two body parts, and conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

What to do next:
Look at other essays: