IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given graph shows the consumption of fast food in the UK (per week) from 1970 to 1990. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The given graph shows the consumption of fast food in the UK (per week) from 1970 to 1990. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph that was given depicts information on the spending on fast food between 1970 and 1990 in the UK.
Overall
Linking Words
,
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
hamburgers
Use synonyms
 and
fish
Use synonyms
 &
chips
Use synonyms
 rose during 20
year
Correct your spelling
20-year
 period,
while
Linking Words
pizza
Use synonyms
 decreased. First of all, people who liked
hamburgers
Use synonyms
 , during the first decade,
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 around zero
grams
Use synonyms
 per person.
However
Linking Words
, in 1985, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
hamburgers
Use synonyms
 per person first exceeded 100
grams
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 at the same time
Use synonyms
fish
Punctuation problem
, fish
show examples
 &
chips
Use synonyms
 already just above 150
grams
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
pizza
Use synonyms
`
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
consumption
Use synonyms
 in the 1970s was around 300
grams
Use synonyms
 per week. By 1985,
pizza
Use synonyms
 decreased, and took second position in
this
Linking Words
 top, approximately 200
grams
Use synonyms
 per week,
while
Linking Words
fish
Use synonyms
 &
chips
Use synonyms
 reached 300
grams
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
pizza
Use synonyms
 was decreasing,
fish
Use synonyms
 &
chips
Use synonyms
 rapidly rose
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 by the end,
consumption
Use synonyms
 of
fish
Use synonyms
 &
chips
Use synonyms
 peaked at half a kilo a week. In 1985,
pizza
Use synonyms
 reached its bottom at point of 200
grams
Use synonyms
. During the
last
Linking Words
 five years,
hamburgers
Use synonyms
 experienced a
Correct word choice
sharp increased
show examples
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 sharply overtaking
pizza
Use synonyms
, and reached just above 300
grams
Use synonyms
 per person.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, hamburgers, fish, chips, pizza, grams with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • fast food
  • UK
  • 1970
  • 1990
  • increase
  • stable
  • hover
  • peak
  • popularity
  • double
  • comparison
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