IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people argue that employees should change their jobs atleast once in their life time. Do you agree or disagree?

In
this
Linking Words
 modern world, the number of individuals
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more opportunities to change their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 during their life span. Some people believe that workers must change their position of employment
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 once during their
life time
Use the right word
lifetime
show examples
. I agree with the given statement to a great extent, because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 factor
develop
Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
show examples
 new
skills
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and career opportunities for the workers. One of the main benefits for colleagues to
alter
Verb problem
change
show examples
 their jobs is the time
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 develop new
skills
Use synonyms
, because each position requires
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 to inculcate new
skills
Use synonyms
 and experience.
For instance
Linking Words
:
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 an organisation, if a worker
promote
Wrong verb form
is promoted
show examples
 from
machine
Correct article usage
a machine
show examples
 operator
job
Use synonyms
 to
quality
Correct article usage
a quality
show examples
 technician,
then
Linking Words
 he will need to learn things
according to
Linking Words
 that
job
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 way, an employee
acquire
Correct subject-verb agreement
acquires
show examples
 a chance to enhance their experience in different sectors. Another reason for changing
post
Fix the agreement mistake
posts
show examples
 is financial security and
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
 growth, as when an individual
change
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
show examples
 their employment with the years of experience.
Then
Linking Words
, they will not only
able
Verb problem
be able
show examples
 to secure
Use synonyms
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high wage, but
also
Linking Words
 they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be promoted to
senior
Correct article usage
a senior
show examples
 level within six months in a new company.
Thus
Linking Words
, above mentioned factor
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 the cause for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 life for workers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some individuals do not want to alter their posts, since they get habitual with
job
Use synonyms
 responsibilities and
Correct article usage
the comapny's
show examples
comapny's
Correct your spelling
company's
 policies.
Then
Linking Words
, it would be difficult for them to stay out of their comfort
jone
Correct your spelling
zone
 and
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
indulge
Verb problem
involved
show examples
 with the different organisations in different
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
 sectors. That's why
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they always try to work with the same company for 30 to 40 years. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are several advantages of changing jobs, as it provides better
pays
Fix the agreement mistake
pay
show examples
along with
Linking Words
 the new
skills
Use synonyms
,
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
 impact cannot be neglected in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of
introverts
Replace the word
introverted
show examples
 people.

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overview
Your view is clear and you give reasons. Plan your essay with four parts: introduction, two body paragraphs, and a short conclusion.
grammar
Make shorter and clearer sentences. Break long lines into two.
grammar
Fix key spellings and form: 'at least', 'career', 'company', 'negative'.
coherence
Use simple links like 'also', 'but', 'so', 'for example' to join ideas.
content
Give one or two more examples that show how changing jobs helps or hurts.
task
Clear view and plan in writing.
content
Some good examples to show points.
coherence
Good use of linking words to show contrast.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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