IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year
The line graph and pie chart illustrate the variations in terms of the
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
types and
age
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
crime
Use synonyms
 in the UK
last
Linking Words
 year.
Overall
Linking Words
, the adolescents,
aging
Replace the word
aged
show examples
 from 16 to
24
Punctuation problem
24,
show examples
 dominated the proportion of
crime
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the children and elderly accounted for
smaller
Correct article usage
a smaller
show examples
 share.
In addition
Linking Words
, violent
crime
Use synonyms
 occupied the largest percentage of
crime
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the lowest share of
crime
Use synonyms
 was public order
crime
Use synonyms
. With regard to the relationship between
age
Use synonyms
 and
crime
Use synonyms
, children did not commit
Use synonyms
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
show examples
 before the
age
Use synonyms
 of eight. The figure of
crime
Use synonyms
 among the youth,
aging
Replace the word
aged
show examples
 from 8 to 12, witnessed a slight increase, roughly 5
tens
Use synonyms
 of
thousands
Use synonyms
. Notably, the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate rose dramatically among adolescents (
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
12-20), which increased to 80
tens
Use synonyms
 of
thousands
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, between the ages of twenty and twenty-eight, the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate experienced a significant descent from 80
tens
Use synonyms
 of
thousands
Use synonyms
 to 20
tens
Use synonyms
 of
thousands
Use synonyms
.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the
crime
Use synonyms
 rate
on
Change preposition
among
show examples
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
 dropped slightly to 8
tens
Use synonyms
 of
thousands
Use synonyms
. In terms of the variety of
crime
Use synonyms
, violent
crime
Use synonyms
 took up the dominant proportion, with 46%,
while
Linking Words
 public order
crime
Use synonyms
 accounted for the minimal share (9%). The percentages of
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two types- property
crime
Use synonyms
 and drug
crime
Use synonyms
 were 23% and 22%, respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, crime, tens, thousands with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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