IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The matrix and line charts present the annual
period
Use synonyms
 of
sunshine
Use synonyms
 and the average monthly
temperature
Use synonyms
 in
London
Use synonyms
, New
York
Use synonyms
, and
Sydney
Use synonyms
. The units are measured in
hours
Use synonyms
 and Celsius, respectively. In general, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 in
London
Use synonyms
 and New
York
Use synonyms
 reached its top in the early second semester.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, in that
period
Use synonyms
,
Sydney
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
temperature
Use synonyms
 of the
year
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the longest
hours
Use synonyms
 of
sunshine
Use synonyms
 in a
year
Use synonyms
 happened in New
York
Use synonyms
, followed by
Sydney
Use synonyms
 and
London
Use synonyms
, respectively. The
temperature
Use synonyms
 patterns in New
York
Use synonyms
 and
London
Use synonyms
 are quite the same, with winter in the early
year
Use synonyms
, with a range of 5 - 10 degrees, and continuously hiked to reach the peak in July, with a range of around 24 - 30 degrees,
then
Linking Words
 started to decline until the end of the
year
Use synonyms
 with the same
temperature
Use synonyms
 as the January
period
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Sydney
Use synonyms
 had a different pattern with the lowest
period
Use synonyms
 achieved in July with 15 degrees, and the summer lasts from the end of the
year
Use synonyms
 until January.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
sunshine
Use synonyms
period
Use synonyms
 in New
York
Use synonyms
 is 2535
hours
Use synonyms
, making it the country with the longest duration, accompanied by
Sydney
Use synonyms
, 2473
hours
Use synonyms
, and
London
Use synonyms
 has the shortest duration with only 1180
hours
Use synonyms
 of
sunshine
Use synonyms
 duration.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words period, sunshine, temperature, london, york, sydney, hours, year with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average
  • temperature
  • sunshine
  • monthly
  • annual
  • comparison
  • characteristics
  • detailed analysis
  • highest
  • lowest
  • examination
  • relationship
  • illustrate
  • patterns
  • rainfall
  • climate
  • considerable variation
  • significantly
  • notable
  • data representation
  • regional differences
  • yearly averages
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