Two pie charts showing the percentage of students taking different courses in 1985 and now

The two-pie chart gives information about the percentage of students taking different courses in the year 1985 and now.
Overall
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,
while
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there were no major variations in the Art, modern languages, and cookery, fitness and dance remained their lowest chosen subjects in both periods,
whereas
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science and business experienced noticeable changes over time. In the year 1985, science accounted for the largest proportion of student enrolment, making up around one-third of all participants. Business was
also
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a popular choice at that time, representing roughly a quarter.
By contrast
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, fitness and dance each attracted only a small percentage, at around 5% and 7% respectively, marking them as the least preferred areas of study. Art and modern languages showed moderate participation levels, with figures just above 10% each. In the present day, the proportion of learners choosing science has declined noticeably, falling to about 20%. Meanwhile, business has seen a significant rise, becoming the most popular course at approximately 30%. Art, modern languages and cookery remained relatively stable with only minor fluctuations, indicating consistent interest in these fields. Fitness and dance continued to represent the smallest portions of enrolment,
although
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both saw slight increases compared to the year 1985.

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data
Check that you name all parts of the chart in 1985 and now. Be sure to give numbers for every category.
grammar
Fix small grammar errors like 'two pie charts' and 'in 1985'.
structure
Make the writing flow with clear linking words and signposts.
vocabulary
Keep to simple words and short form to show plain style.
overview
Clear overview that shows a change in science and business.
coherence
Good use of link words to show contrast.
Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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