IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that parents have an powerful influence in child's life, while the influence from outside the home plays a bigger part of child's development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many individuals believe that the household pays a great part of a
kid
Check wording
child's
show examples
prespictive
Correct your spelling
perspective
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 life.
However
Linking Words
, there is a bigger part that affects a
child
Use synonyms
, which is the activities he might face outside the house. I fully agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. Mainly because the way he will deal with his future is how he will learn from the encounters he had
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 other
people
Use synonyms
 during his childhood.
Linking Words
also
Fix capitalization
Also
show examples
, how he saw his parents deal with difficult situations could have a large impact
one
Use the right word
on
show examples
 a
child
Use synonyms
. Serious outside
intractions
Correct your spelling
interactions
 with older
people
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 and kids in the playground could make a kid more experienced with how the public acts.
Therefore
Linking Words
, when he grows up, he will find himself more capable of judging others better. For more explanation, the reason why most
intreverted
Correct your spelling
inverted
 older individuals are like
that is
Linking Words
 because they did not have a lot of time
oustide
Correct your spelling
outside
 their home.
Also
Linking Words
, parents could change the
child
Use synonyms
's attitude with the way they treat others in public.
Therefore
Linking Words
, you can see many
people
Use synonyms
 who
acts
Correct subject-verb agreement
act
show examples
 exactly like their father or mother. They might have the same mood
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 and other aspects of treatment.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 they would know how an adult will deal with serious situations. In conclusion,
yes
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yes,
show examples
 life at home and being around your parents is important for the
prespictive
Correct your spelling
perspective
 of a young
child
Use synonyms
.
but
Fix capitalization
But
show examples
 having to leave the house will be more positive for a kid.
Also
Linking Words
,
It
Fix capitalization
it
show examples
 will show him how the
real
Punctuation problem
real,
show examples
 unfiltered
people
Use synonyms
 act, and
this
Linking Words
 will build their
confidince
Correct your spelling
confidence
 in the future.

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task
Make your main view clear and keep it steady. Your idea that life outside is stronger is fine, but do not mix too many ideas in one paragraph.
coherence
Use three clear parts: intro, 2 body paragraphs, and a short conclusion. Start with a simple sentence that states your view, then add points.
grammar
Fix grammar and spelling. Use basic sentence patterns and check verb form, plural, and wording like 'outside' and 'home'.
lexical
Try to use easy, common words and simple phrases. Avoid long words that are hard to spell. Check spellings like 'practice' and 'confidence'.
examples
Give one or two clear examples to show each point, such as a time a child learns from friends at school or how a parent handles a public event.
strength
You take a clear view on the topic
strength
You try to give reasons for your view
strength
You use words like 'also', 'therefore' to show ideas
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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