IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie and bar charts below show the percentage of water consuption and use in Australia in 2004.

The pie and bar charts below show the percentage of water consuption and use in Australia in 2004.
The 2 charts below show the percentage of aqua used and consumed in different ways in Australia in 2004.
Linking Words
Overall
Punctuation problem
Overall,
show examples
 the pie
char
Use the right word
chart
show examples
 shows the biggest consumers of
water
Use synonyms
 like government, industry, business, residential
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
apartments,residential
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
houses and others. In
bar
Correct article usage
a bar
show examples
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 there are rooms where we use
water
Use synonyms
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
bathroom
Correct article usage
the bathroom
show examples
, toilet, washing
clothess
Correct your spelling
clothes
, kitchen,
garden
Correct word choice
and garden
show examples
. As the pie chart
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
, residential
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
houses
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the biggest user of
water
Use synonyms
 in 2004.
Water
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
used for business, industry and residential
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
apartments
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 practically the same.
While
Linking Words
water
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
used for other things
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 the lowest, the government was 2 times bigger than it.
By contrast
Linking Words
, in
bar
Correct article usage
the bar
show examples
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
 the lowest score had
water
Use synonyms
 that
used
Verb problem
was used
show examples
 for
kitchen
Correct article usage
the kitchen
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 we use the bathroom every
signle
Correct your spelling
single
 day
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
water
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
used for
garden
Correct article usage
the garden
show examples
 was the same in 2004. Washing clothes
used
Wrong verb form
uses
show examples
 2 times more
water
Use synonyms
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the kitchen. The
toiled
Use the right word
toilet
show examples
 used 15% of
water
Use synonyms
 in 2004.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
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