Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge and experience.

It is argued that authorities should ban risky games,
whereas
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others believe that there should not be any restrictions.
While
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there may be some risk involved in
such
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activities, I hold the view that it is
apersonal
Correct your spelling
a personal
choice and should not be interfered
.
Change preposition
with.
show examples
On the one hand, it is often claimed that dangerous
sports
Use synonyms
need to be banned because of safety and public responsibility reasons.
This
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ismainly
Correct your spelling
is mainly
because people may get injured and lose their lives
while
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performing those
sports
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.
Although
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it might give
instant
Correct article usage
an instant
show examples
thrill, it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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risky to
participate
Wrong verb form
participating
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in
such
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sports
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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might disable players permanently.
For example
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, in Nepal, many tourists lose their lives
while
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climbing Mt. Everest every year.
However
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, I believe
this
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view is less convincing since there are safety measures and
coach
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coaches
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readily available to guide sportsperson to mitigate
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
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of getting seriously injured.
On the other hand
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, it is a personal choice to play any
sports
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they like as long as they are responsible.
This
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perspective suggests that every individual
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
to take risks without harming others. When
players
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Players
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play risky games,
then
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it boosts their confidence and discipline. For
example
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For example
show examples
, thousands of tourists visit Queenstown in New Zealand every year to do skydiving, which gives
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
of achievement and motivation. I agree with
this
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argument
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
it is
individual
Correct article usage
an individual
show examples
preference to decide whether they want to do certain task or not
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it
also
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helps to promote
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
industry. In conclusion,
although
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risky activities and games can get people seriously injured, I believe that it is
personal
Correct article usage
a personal
show examples
choice to decide
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
freedom needs to be given and banning
such
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sports
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hinders local
tourists
Fix the agreement mistake
tourist
show examples
industries.

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grammar
Work on grammar and word form. Use simple, correct phrases. For example, change 'apersonal' to 'a personal', 'coaches readily available' instead of 'coach readily available', and 'have' instead of 'have' error.
organization
Improve structure. Start with a clear introduction that states both views and your stance, then dedicate one paragraph to each view with topic sentences, and finish with a concise conclusion.
lexical resource
Enhance linking and flow. Use simple linking words like 'however', 'in addition', 'for example' to connect ideas smoothly and to guide the reader.
content
The essay does present both sides and a clear stance.
content
Useful real-world examples (Everest, Queenstown) to support points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • severe injuries
  • fatalities
  • base jumping
  • bull running
  • extreme skiing
  • safeguard
  • well-being
  • regulating
  • avoidable harm
  • healthcare costs
  • burdening
  • personal freedom
  • autonomy
  • training
  • equipment
  • mitigated
  • personal satisfaction
  • mental health benefits
  • resilience
  • adventure
  • assess risks
  • public safety
  • unnecessary healthcare costs
  • outright bans
  • balanced approach
  • stringent safety standards
  • mandatory training sessions
  • adequately informed
  • safeguarding
  • public health
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