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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of school education. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of school education. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart compares the number of
girls
Use synonyms
 per 100 boys enrolled in primary, secondary and tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 in developing and developed
countries
Use synonyms
. There are clear differences between the two groups. In primary
Use synonyms
education
Add a comma
education,
show examples
 the numbers are lower in developing
countries
Use synonyms
, where enrolment reaches 83
girls
Use synonyms
 per 100 boys. Developed
countries
Use synonyms
 show 95 and come close to equal participation. Secondary
education
Use synonyms
 follows the same pattern. Developing
countries
Use synonyms
 reach 72
girls
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 developed
countries
Use synonyms
 reach 98.
This
Linking Words
 stage widens the gap, since developed
countries
Use synonyms
 continue to approach balance
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 developing
countries
Use synonyms
 move
further
Linking Words
 away from it. Tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 shows the strongest contrast.
Developing
Change preposition
In developing
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
drop
Correct subject-verb agreement
drops
show examples
 to 66
girls
Use synonyms
 per 100 boys. Developed
countries
Use synonyms
 rise to 105 and pass the point of equal enrolment. The main trend shows a steady decline for developing
countries
Use synonyms
 as
education
Use synonyms
 levels rise. Developed
countries
Use synonyms
 show the opposite pattern. They remain close to equal participation at every stage and move above it in higher
education
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words girls, education, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "move" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reaches" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • number
  • girls
  • boys
  • enrolled
  • education
  • primary
  • secondary
  • higher
  • ratio
  • indicate
  • barriers
  • accessible
  • significant
  • decline
  • pursuing
  • features
  • comparisons
  • gender
  • equality
  • societal
  • norms
  • progress
  • issues
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