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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The maps below show a bookstore in 2000 and now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The maps below show a bookstore in 2000 and now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The two maps illustrate the inside layout of a
book
Use the right word
bookstore
show examples
store
Use synonyms
 in the year 2000 and the present.
Overrall
Correct your spelling
Overall
, throughout the
years
Punctuation problem
years,
show examples
 the
book
Use the right word
bookstore
show examples
store
Use synonyms
 has been
modernized
Change the spelling
modernised
show examples
, with several sections replaced by other facilities
suck
Use the right word
such
show examples
 as a cafe and seating areas. In 2000, the
store
Use synonyms
 was mainly focused on
books
Use synonyms
. Fiction
books
Use synonyms
 occupied a large space along the upper parts of the
store
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
non-fictions
Use the right word
non-fiction
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 occupied a small space
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 part. The travel facility was located at the entrance of the bookstore
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 it would be easier to
acces
Correct your spelling
access
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the section with new
books
Use synonyms
 was placed right under it. In the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
Use synonyms
store
Add a comma
store,
show examples
 there were three blocks that consisted of Arts, hobbies and cookery.
Linking Words
Lastly
Add a comma
Lastly,
show examples
 the service desk was
place
Replace the word
placed
show examples
 and the
left lower
Correct word order
lower left
show examples
 corner, near the entrance. In the present, the layout has changed significantly. The fiction section has been reduced and moved
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the upper side of the
store
Use synonyms
 between the cookery and non-fiction blocks,
also
Linking Words
 making space for the hobbies and art block. The central
are
Use the right word
area
show examples
 that had bookshelves now has seating spaces for customers.
In
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 the cafe has been introduced at the lower part of the
store
Use synonyms
replacing
Punctuation problem
, replacing
show examples
 the non-fiction block. The travel, new
books
Use synonyms
 block
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 service desk
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 remained in the original position.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words store, books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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