Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

People have different opinions about which is more crucial to kids, home-teaching or
school
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-teaching
?
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.
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From my point of view, either of them plays an important role in the development of
children
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’s
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life
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lives
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and
none
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neither
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of them can be neglected. It is widely believed by many people that
parents
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are the first teachers for a child and they
plays
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play
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a vital role not only in childhood but
also
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the
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in the
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child’s whole
life
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.
Parents
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teach
children
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how to eat as the first lesson, which can not be replaced by anyone else.
Parents
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also
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teach
children
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to touch and
fell
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feel
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the world, communicate with other
person
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people
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, walk and run,
develop
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and develop
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interests of their own. All these learning and
behaviors
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behaviours
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can have a deep impact on the child’s whole
life
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. Even when the kids are at the age of going to
school
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,
parents
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and families can still teach them a lot which can not be taught by
school
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,
such
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as mental health. What’s more, the
education
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provided by
school
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is a common one, which means it may not suit
for
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apply
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every child.
However
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, home
education
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will
be definitely
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definitely be
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suitable for their own
children
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.
Parents
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know the personality of the child and
could
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can
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manage the most appropriate,
while
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school
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education
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can not do so.
On the other hand
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,
school
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education
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also
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inflect
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affects
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children
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in a different way.
Children
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have the chance to play and gain knowledge with other kids in
school
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, cultivating the
sprites
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spirit
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of sharing and cooperation, which is hardly
to be
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apply
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learned in
home-
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home education
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education
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.
Children
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can gain knowledge of academic
arranged
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subjects arranged
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by
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school
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the school
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as well, preparing for
the
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apply
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future competition.
For example
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,
children
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will learn language, maths, physics, arts, and many other important lessons in
school
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to enrich their brains, having a better understanding of the world
as a result
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. All of these contribute a lot during a child’s whole
life
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,
while
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quite different from the experiences provided by
parents
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. In conclusion, home
education
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and
school
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education
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help
children
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to become
a
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apply
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better
man
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people
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from different aspects
and
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, and
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both
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neither
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of them can
not
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apply
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be replaced by
each
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the
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other. A good balance between
parents
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and teachers will let
children
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grow up in a reliable way.

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grammar
Fix big word mistakes. Use simple form: 'Parents play' not 'parents are the first teachers'. Check words like 'inflect' and 'sprites' and 'fell'.
content
Give more clear ideas for each point and add one or two real examples. Show how home or school helps a child.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'however', 'in addition' to show order and flow.
content
The essay says both home and school have value.
structure
It follows a simple plan: intro, body and conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized learning
  • cater
  • flexible schedule
  • extracurricular activities
  • safe learning environment
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
  • socialization
  • diversity awareness
  • structured environment
  • discipline
  • punctuality
  • resources and facilities
  • communication skills
  • teamwork
  • specialized subjects
  • experts
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