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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries schools have several problems with students behaviour. what do you think are the cause of this? What solution can you suggest?

In many parts of the world,
schools
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 are struggling with poor student behaviour.
This
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problem
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 is mainly caused by
parents
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 who do not spend enough time on their
children
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’s upbringing and by the overuse of gadgets. To solve
this
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 issue, both
parents
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 and
schools
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 should work together to teach
children
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discipline
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 and moral values.
This
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 essay will discuss the main reasons behind
this
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problem
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 and suggest some effective solutions. The main cause of
this
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problem
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 is the lack of parental involvement in
children
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’s upbringing. Many
parents
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 are too busy with work and daily responsibilities, so they do not spend enough time teaching their
children
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discipline
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 and good manners.
As a result
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,
children
Use synonyms
 often grow up without understanding how to behave properly. Another important reason is the excessive use of gadgets. Many students spend hours on their phones or computers, watching inappropriate videos or playing violent games.
This
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 makes them more likely to copy aggressive or disrespectful behaviour from the internet. To solve
this
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problem
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,
parents
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 should take a more active role in their
children
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’s upbringing. They need to spend more time with their
children
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, teach them good behaviour, and set clear rules at home.
In addition
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,
schools
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 should strengthen their
discipline
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 systems by creating clear rules,
as well as
Linking Words
 reward and punishment systems.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
schools
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 could introduce special lessons that focus on moral education and personal development, helping students learn respect, empathy, and responsibility. In conclusion, student misbehaviour is mainly caused by a lack of parental attention and the negative influence of
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
. To solve
this
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problem
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,
schools
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 and
parents
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 must work together to teach
children
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 respect and
discipline
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.

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content
Add one or two clear examples for each idea to show your point.
structure
Keep each paragraph to one main idea and use linking to move to the next.
vocabulary
Use only very common, easy words. Some big or rare words are not needed.
grammar
Check grammar and use simple sentences with correct punctuation.
content
There is a good plan with causes and solutions.
structure
Introduction and conclusion are present.
cohesion
Reasonable use of linking words.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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