IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Modern technology is used in many workplaces today. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion.

Modern
technology
Use synonyms
 is used in many workplaces today".
As a result
Linking Words
 of that, nowadays every person knows how to
work
Use synonyms
 with computers, at least, because it makes the
work
Use synonyms
 easier and faster to
be completed
Wrong verb form
complete
show examples
. In my opinion, modern
technology
Use synonyms
 is useful
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 because it gives better results in a short period of time, which makes it more effective.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 has disadvantages,
such
Linking Words
 as task error, since workers can commit mistakes.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
technology
Use synonyms
 changed the way people
work
Use synonyms
, as it made them
send
Use the right word
spend
show examples
 a large amount of time looking
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 devices, in order to get their tasks done.
Also
Linking Words
, it
formed
Verb problem
made
show examples
 them
to be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
lazier, as they don’t need to get from place to place to solve their problems.
For example
Linking Words
, someone
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 works with bills doesn’t have to go talk with a person
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 he just needs to send the email
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
and the other worker sends the details, which consumes less time.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 disadvantages of relying on tech at
work
Use synonyms
, because after many hours of working on a device,
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
show examples
 eyesight will get weaker and it will cause them health issues.
For instance
Linking Words
, using a laptop without glasses that protect the eyes from the blue light
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 will deteriorate one’s vision
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is a long-term effect that cannot be repaired. In conclusion,
technology
Use synonyms
 is one of the best things that humans created, since it
created
Wrong verb form
has made
show examples
 people’s jobs so much simpler, in terms of volume, as it
cut
Verb problem
has cut
show examples
from
Change preposition
down on
show examples
 the tasks that they had to complete
everyday
Use the right word
every day
show examples
.

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improvement
To raise the score, give a clear view in the first paragraph and keep it steady. Add more facts or exact examples to back each idea.
improvement
Link ideas with better flow. Use simple linking words and start each paragraph with a strong topic sentence.
strength
Clear stance and basic structure are present.
strength
Message is easy to follow; main idea is understood.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • remote work
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • collaboration
  • communication tools
  • data management
  • cybersecurity
  • job displacement
  • technical failures
  • work-life balance
  • innovation
  • digital transformation
  • vulnerability
  • skill development
What to do next:
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