IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Modern agricultural technologies such as fertilizer pesticide and modern machinery can feed the world better. However it is negative to human health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In recent years, advanced technology used in agriculture has become a heated debate in
this
Linking Words
 society. In my opinion, I am more disagree
with
Change preposition
that
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this
Linking Words
 kind of development is a drawback to human life. Nowadays, farming skills designed by
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
 improve effectively on
cultivation
Correct article usage
the cultivation
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 of various materials, as they can generate vegetables all year round,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is crucial for helping the public to absorb the
nutritions
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nutrients
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 that they lack
of
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apply
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. Through the advanced cultivating technology, there are some nutrient plants
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
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 be planted in barely place,
such
Linking Words
 as high-altitude mountains or high-latitude regions. Without limitation of environment and
exteral
Correct your spelling
external
 factors, the public can be self-sufficient.
For instance
Linking Words
, Iceland can establish a special
green house
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greenhouse
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 or machine to foster fruits in tropical areas.
Therefore
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, it is evident that the technologies used in agriculture can bring lots of merits.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if the lands be overused in a short time, people might drain their environment and resources.
This
Linking Words
 is because unrest cultivation can lead to soil
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 less productivity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, using
fertilizers
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fertilisers
show examples
 which involved
in rich
Correct word order
rich in
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nutrition
Replace the word
nutrients
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 in
soil
Correct article usage
the soil
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 brings about lands
cannot absorb
Verb problem
can cause
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 the energy by
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
itself
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,
it
Correct word choice
and it
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could
Wrong verb form
can
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 always rely on special
fertilizers
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fertilisers
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 to help plants
to keep
Verb problem
maintain
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nutritions
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
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. In conclusion, I am more inclined to think the positive influence
is outweigh
Wrong verb form
outweighs
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 the negative ways.
However
Linking Words
, I want to call for the public should be more
focus
Replace the word
focused
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 on sustainability, giving
Correct article usage
the lands
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lands
Fix the agreement mistake
land
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 some opportunities to
have
Verb problem
apply
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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rest.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first line and keep this view through the essay.
task response
Give clear points for both sides and back them with brief, easy examples.
coherence cohesion
Use clear topic sentences and make links between ideas so the reader can follow.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea and ends with a short conclusion that ties to your view.
structure
The essay has a simple shape: intro, 2 body parts, and a conclusion.
content
It talks about how tech in farming can help people with food and a need for care for land.
balance
The writer shows some attempt to talk on both sides.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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