IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The following graph shows the estimated number of sentenced prisoners of different races in the US in December, 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Estimated number of Sentenced Prisoners per 100,000 U.S. Residents (December, 2010) 8000

The following graph shows the estimated number of sentenced prisoners of different races in the US in December, 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Estimated number of Sentenced Prisoners per 100,000 U.S. Residents (December, 2010) 8000
The bar graph depicts the estimation of sentenced prisoners of three different
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
racial group
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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race
Check wording
apply
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and various
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 in the us in
december
Fix capitalization
December
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 2010.
Linking Words
overall
Fix capitalization
Overall
show examples
 data shows
more
Correct word choice
a larger
show examples
 number of black prisoners in all
aged
Replace the word
age
show examples
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
, the proportion of whites
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 less
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two races. By looking into more details of the all
three-aged
Use the right word
three age
show examples
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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, the percentage of Black crossed 7,000 in
26
Correct article usage
the 26
show examples
-
33-aged
Correct your spelling
33 age
group
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 it is just above 6,000 in
18
Correct article usage
the 18
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 to 25, and below 7,000 in
34
Correct article usage
the 34
show examples
 to 41
age
Use synonyms
.
Check wording
group.
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 The percentage of White remains
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 in all
three-aged
Use the right word
three age
show examples
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1,000, but the proportion of Latino
fluctuated
Wrong verb form
fluctuates
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 in all
three-aged
Use the right word
three age
show examples
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, the number starts to decline from 42 to 49
Use synonyms
age
Rephrase
years old
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 to 58 to 65 aged people. The value of Blacks
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 just above 2,000 in
42
Correct article usage
the 42
show examples
 to 49
age
Use synonyms
.
Check wording
range.
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 It gradually decreased to just
quarter
Correct article usage
a quarter
show examples
 of 1,000. The percentage of Latino and White prisoners
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 very few in the remaining
three-aged
Use the right word
three age
show examples
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words group, age with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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