IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, young people show little interest in politics. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage more youth participation in political life?

In today’s world, numerous
nation’s
Check wording
nations’
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 young generation
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
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 lower or no interest in
politics
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 tendency has raised concerns about the future of democratic participation. There are several reasons for
this
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 situation, and some practical measures can be taken to encourage teenagers to become more politically engaged.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, young people’s disinterest in
politics
Use synonyms
 stems from widespread mistrust and pervasive corruption.
Additionally
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, young individuals feel that their efforts are meaningless. Many young citizens,
for instance
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, feel disconnected from political leaders who seem more focused on their own interests than on the needs of society.
Furthermore
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, the absence of comprehensive political education at the school level
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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causing
Wrong verb form
causes
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 many young learners to be unfamiliar with governmental operations.
As a result
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,
instead
Linking Words
 of engaging in meaningful discourse on political matters, they come across a lot of misinformation about
politics
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in
Change preposition
on
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 social media. To increase
youth
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 involvement in
politics
Use synonyms
governments
Punctuation problem
, governments
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 and
organizations
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organisations
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 have to use social media to engage
youth
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. To gain young people’s attention
several
Punctuation problem
, several
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 actions can be taken
,
Punctuation problem
. Firstly
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firstly
Linking Words
, political leaders should communicate more transparently and use social media platforms to reach young audiences directly.
Consequently
Linking Words
, offering young people opportunities to participate in local projects or decision-making processes can help them see that their opinions truly matter.
Secondly
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, governments and schools should introduce civic education programs that teach students about their rights, responsibilities, and the importance of voting
Punctuation problem
. including
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including interactive
Change preposition
Interactive
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 debates,
youth
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 parliaments, and simulations of elections can make
politics
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 more interesting and understandable.
To sum up
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,
although
Linking Words
 young people’s lack of interest in
politics
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 mainly stems from distrust and lack of knowledge, with better education, transparent communication, and real opportunities for participation, more
Use synonyms
youth
Check wording
young people
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 can be encouraged to take an active role in shaping their country’s future.

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task response
Plan a clear two part answer: list causes then list fixes. Then add at least one specific example for each point.
coherence cohesion
Break the essay into four short paragraphs: intro, causes, fixes, and conclusion. Use transition words like First, Also, Finally.
linguistic
Keep your sentences short and safe. Watch run on and fix grammar.
coherence cohesion
Make the link between causes and fixes strong, and show how one idea leads to the next.
content
Include more exact facts or examples from real life or a smart idea to back up your claim.
structure
There is a clear plan with intro, body and conclusion.
content
The answer gives both reasons and ways to help.
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