IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes than bying them. What are the advantage and disadvantages of renting a home?

In many nations,
mostly
Use the right word
most
show examples
 people
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
 more preference to
rent
Wrong verb form
renting
show examples
 their homes rather than
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. There are
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
 of drawbacks and benefits
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
associated with
Correct word order
renting the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
home
Use synonyms
renting
Correct word order
apply
show examples
. These will be discussed in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
 in the upcoming paragraphs. One of the main advantages
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 renting
Use synonyms
home
Correct article usage
a home
show examples
 is
people
Correct word choice
that people
show examples
 can spend their extra
money
Use synonyms
 on education, as
these
Fix capitalization
These
show examples
 days, parents have to pay
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 amount of
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their children's education. If they are studying in
well- reputed
Use the right word
well-reputed
show examples
 schools. In
this
Linking Words
 way, children will be able to create
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future in the
upcoming time
Check wording
future
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to it, they can
also
Linking Words
 afford the better medical facilities for their families
, if
Punctuation problem
. If
show examples
 the person needs
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 emergency treatment,
then
Linking Words
 bigger
hostipals
Correct your spelling
hospitals
 charge a hefty amount of
money
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, renting a
home
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of buying it would
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
prove beneficial in terms of
fulfill
Replace the word
fulfilling
show examples
 the basic
necessaities
Correct your spelling
necessities
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the main drawback of leasing a
home
Use synonyms
 is
lose
Replace the word
loss
show examples
 of freedom. When an individual
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
hiring
Wrong verb form
hires
show examples
 an accommodation for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 limited period of time,
then
Linking Words
 he will not be able to make any changes without the permission of
owner
Correct article usage
the owner
show examples
, and
also
Linking Words
 he will have to follow all the policies.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if there is any breakdown
happen
Correct subject-verb agreement
happens
show examples
 related to
home
Use synonyms
owner's
Use the right word
homeowner's
show examples
 property,
then
Linking Words
tenant
Correct article usage
the tenant
show examples
 will be responsible for that loss and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to pay
full
Correct article usage
the full
show examples
 cost of that thing.
Thus
Linking Words
, above mentioned factor displays the disadvantages of hiring a
home
Use synonyms
 for
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 time period. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are numerous positive points associated with
home
Use synonyms
 leasing, as it saves
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 for crucial purposes,
such
Linking Words
 as education, and
meducal
Correct your spelling
medical
 treatments, its negative points
cannot
Correct pronoun usage
that cannot
show examples
 be neglected because
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to follow the owner 's rules and regulations.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your plan is good: you touch both sides. Make a clear view in the start and end. Add one or two clear ideas per para with a small example.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas go to the next. Words like first, also, but, and then help.
coherence cohesion
Watch spelling and grammar. Many errors hide your meaning. Keep to simple rules: a small number of mistakes is best.
content
The text tries to cover both points on renting, not just one side.
structure
There is a final idea that gives a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: