IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some believe that schools should focus more on academic subjects. Others argue that practical skills should be emphasized. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is an ongoing debate about whether
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 should
prioritize
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prioritise
show examples
 academic
subjects
Use synonyms
 or practical
skills
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 is more reasonable.
While
Linking Words
 both views have their merits, I am inclined to believe that practical
skills
Use synonyms
 are more useful for
students
Use synonyms
’ daily lives and
future
Use synonyms
jobs
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. On the one hand, many people argue that schools should focus more on academic
subjects
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is because these academic
subjects
Use synonyms
 can develop
students
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’ basic abilities, like logical thinking and clear expression. These
skills
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 help
students
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 study at university and master practical
skills
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well
Rephrase
apply
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later. Without
this
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 academic foundation,
student
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students
show examples
only can
Correct word order
can only
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 copy practical
skills
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 and cannot use them flexibly.
For example
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,
students
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 who are good at math can easily learn accounting
skills
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 and solve different financial problems. But
students
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 with poor math
skills
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only can
Correct word order
can only
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 do simple counting work by copying,and can’t do hard financial work.
This
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 clearly
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
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 that academic
subjects
Use synonyms
 are basic for learning and using practical
skills
Use synonyms
 well. But
on the other hand
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, other people think schools should pay more attention to practical
skills
Use synonyms
. These
skills
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 can help
students
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 deal with real-life and
future
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jobs
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 more easily. In fact, most employers prefer to hire people who can solve problems at once, rather than spend time and money
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
training them.
For example
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,
students
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 with beneficial practical
skills
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 can find
jobs
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 more quickly after graduation. But those who only have academic knowledge may
loose
Use the right word
lose
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jobs
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 in
interview
Correct article usage
an interview
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.
This
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 fully shows that practical
skills
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 are very useful for
students
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’ daily life and
future
Use synonyms
 careers. In my opinion, practical
skills
Use synonyms
 are more important for
students
Use synonyms
 than academic
subjects
Use synonyms
,as they bring direct and real benefits to daily life and
future
Use synonyms
jobs
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
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,
although
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 academic
subjects
Use synonyms
 provide
necessary
Correct article usage
a necessary
show examples
 basic foundation for
students
Use synonyms
, I strongly support the view that practical
skills
Use synonyms
 are more valuable for
students
Use synonyms
’ daily and
future
Use synonyms
 careers.

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language
Fix grammar and word form. Use proper topic sentence and link ideas well.
content
Give one clear example for each view. Make cause and effect more simple.
structure
Good layout with an intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
vocabulary
Easy to read with simple word use.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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