IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Medical professionals such as doctors and nurses from poor countries often migrate to richer countries to work. What problems arise from this situation? What measure can be taken to deal with it?

First of all, A
country
Use synonyms
 faced
employee
Correct article usage
an employee
show examples
 crisis when skilled
people
Use synonyms
migrate
Wrong verb form
migrated
show examples
. Doctors and nurses are the skilled
people
Use synonyms
 and
assects
Correct your spelling
assets
 for a
country
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 when they
moved
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 from
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
homeland
Punctuation problem
homeland,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 there
arise
Correct subject-verb agreement
arises
show examples
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
 in
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
show examples
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
lead
Replace the word
led
show examples
interuption
Correct your spelling
interruption
 in
smooth
Correct article usage
the smooth
show examples
 treatment procedure. A study shows that, in
Bangladesh
Add a comma
Bangladesh,
show examples
 more
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
show examples
 doctors leave the
country
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every year
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 makes a shortage of medical
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
 and in
year
Check wording
apply
show examples
2023,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 had to run medical
with
Check wording
services with
show examples
 interns and even 5th year medical students during emergencies.
Secondly
Linking Words
, migration of medical
exparts
Correct your spelling
experts
creat
Use the right word
creates
show examples
Correct article usage
an economical
show examples
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
 burden for countries. It is difficult for a poor
country
Use synonyms
 to make a doctor with proper education and
traning
Correct your spelling
training
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 after a certain
effort
Punctuation problem
effort,
show examples
 when a person
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 a
doctor
Punctuation problem
doctor,
show examples
then
Linking Words
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 the
countries
Check wording
country's
show examples
 turn to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefit from them. But when they
move
Wrong verb form
moved
show examples
then
Linking Words
 many
people
Use synonyms
 had to go
out side of
Use the right word
outside
show examples
 the
country
Use synonyms
 for treatment
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 expenses
a
Verb problem
were a
show examples
well
Correct word choice
significant
show examples
 amount of
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
Health
Correct article usage
the Health
show examples
 Ministry Annual Report 2024, Bangladeshi
people
Use synonyms
expend
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 around 50 million USD for treatment
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

general
Add a clear start and end. Say the problem, then give two clear fix ideas, and end with a short wrap up.
content
Give two or more ways to fix it. Use simple words. For example, train more doctors at home, give good pay, and make rules so skills stay in the country.
coherence
Make the links in the ideas. Use words that show order and reason (first, then, also).
language
Check the language. Fix miss marks and make simple wording better. ‘more than’ not ‘more then’; use ‘abroad’ for going to other places.
data
The piece uses a real data idea on the issue.
impact
It shows money use when people go to other land for care.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: