IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no special knowledge of the following topic. Many childhood diseases can now be prevented through the use of vaccines. Should parents be made by law to immunise their children against common diseases or should individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their children? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

Children
Use synonyms
 cannot choose whether they have one disease or not.
However
Linking Words
, it is
founded
Verb problem
found
show examples
 that some of them can be prevented by using
vaccines
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will argue from both sides, agree and disagree, with
if
Change preposition
whether
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 should be forced to immunise their
children
Use synonyms
fron
Correct your spelling
from
 diseases. Having a healthy life is everyone's right. Common
vaccines
Use synonyms
 should be injected for
baby
Fix the agreement mistake
babies
show examples
 and
children
Use synonyms
 when they are young. Unlike the adults, hardly can
a
Rephrase
hardly
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 decide whether they want to
inject
Verb problem
receive
show examples
 the
vaccines
Use synonyms
. If an adult
choosing
Wrong verb form
chooses
show examples
 not to
Use synonyms
vaccines
Verb problem
get vaccinated
show examples
 and he or she get sick, it would be his or her own problem. That adult should take the
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
.
However
Linking Words
, if
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 grow up and
founded
Wrong verb form
find out
show examples
 that none of the
vaccines
Use synonyms
 have been injected, and it unfortunately causes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
unchangable disesases
Correct your spelling
unchangeable diseases
, it is not their
resposibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
. As we all know, the
children
Use synonyms
 are too young to have enough
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 to decide whether
Verb problem
to get they
show examples
they
Use the right word
the
show examples
vaccine
Use synonyms
 or not.
Therefore
Linking Words
, to keep their body healthy and prevent
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
long-term sickness, the
law
Use synonyms
 should
forced
Wrong verb form
force
show examples
al
Use the right word
all
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 to immunise their
children
Use synonyms
 against common diseases. Everybody should have their own choice, including
parents
Use synonyms
. Some
parents
Use synonyms
 do not want their
children
Use synonyms
 to be
kidnapped
Verb problem
vaccinated
show examples
by
Change preposition
against
show examples
 the
law
Use synonyms
 to
vaccine
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 may
mainly
Verb problem
be mainly
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 their growing environment,
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 many
parents
Use synonyms
 did not
Use synonyms
vaccine
Replace the word
vaccinate
show examples
 in their whole life. From some
science
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
 research, we found that some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
vaccine
Fix the agreement mistake
vaccines
show examples
 may harm
baby's
Check wording
babies'
show examples
 health
paramently
Correct your spelling
permanently
. It is easy to understand the concerns of
parents
Use synonyms
that they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 do not trust the
vaccine
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when the
law
Use synonyms
 forced every
Use synonyms
children
Fix the agreement mistake
child
show examples
 to be
vaccined
Correct your spelling
vaccinated
, the
parents
Use synonyms
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be angry if their
children
Use synonyms
 really got some negative consequences
due to
Linking Words
 the
vaccine
Use synonyms
. To prevent
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dissatisfication
Correct your spelling
dissatisfaction
 from the
parensts
Correct your spelling
parents
, let them choose.
As a result
Linking Words
, they could take all the responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 whether their
children
Use synonyms
 get sick or not.
This
Linking Words
 ethical issue is so debatable because of the ignorance of
children
Use synonyms
.
Children
Use synonyms
 can only put all their hope on their
parents
Use synonyms
. Whether their life should be chosen by the
law
Use synonyms
 of their
parents
Use synonyms
. It may be better to give the right back to their family to prevent unnecessary debate. The government can still
suggested
Wrong verb form
suggest
show examples
 and provide
vaccine
Use synonyms
 service. In
this
Linking Words
 case, most of the family can make sure their baby
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
show examples
 healthily. And to those extreme family, they could keep their own right.
This
Linking Words
 may be the best result to benefit as
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
 people as we can.

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task response
Plan your essay with a clear view in the first paragraph. State your position and then give two to three clear reasons or examples.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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