IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your

It is true that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some individuals believe advertising is quite successful at motivating consumers to buy products.
While
Linking Words
 other
people
Use synonyms
 reckon that
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
impacts
Correct subject-verb agreement
impact
show examples
 has diminished.
Due to
Linking Words
it is
Check wording
its
show examples
 overwhelming presence. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will examine both sides
if
Use the right word
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
 argument and provide my
overall
Linking Words
 opinion. On the one hand, there
are
Verb problem
is are
show examples
 wide range of ways advertising can be extremely fruitful. One feasible way is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 numerous
organization
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
 often follow some psychological techniques
such
Linking Words
 as emotional appeal, repetition
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 celebrity endorsements, which directly influence
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
customer feelings and decisions.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent survey showed that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
K.F.C
Correct your spelling
K.F.C.
becoming
Verb problem
is becoming
show examples
 one of the most successful
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 in the Global Market. Because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they are displaying qualities, many
people
Use synonyms
influence
Verb problem
are
show examples
 deeply
.
Verb problem
influenced.
show examples
In addition
Linking Words
, the rise of digital technology allows
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
businesses to target specific audiences. So
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
many companies are using social media, which
assist
Verb problem
helps
show examples
 to enhance attention.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, advertising may be losing
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 power. On the grounds that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 ads are more common.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to avoid or
blockers
Replace the word
block
show examples
this
Linking Words
contant
Correct your spelling
content
.
Linking Words
Due to the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 majority of ads are
manipulation
Replace the word
manipulative
show examples
 to consumers.
For example
Linking Words
, research by the UK Finance Research Laboratory has demonstrated that more than 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
ads
Change preposition
of ads
show examples
 market value
significantly
Verb problem
has significantly
show examples
in
Verb problem
increased in
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 five years. The main fact is
modern
Correct word choice
that modern
show examples
 consumers often
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
rely on personal
recommendation
Fix the agreement mistake
recommendations
show examples
 or online
review
Fix the agreement mistake
reviews
show examples
instead
Linking Words
 of traditional advertising. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 advertising still has a strong impact, when it great impression
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 emotions or smart targeting.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
tend to ignore and self-preference

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Fix grammar and spelling to make ideas clear. Use simple, short sentences.
organization
Use clear links between ideas. Words like first, also, but, however help a lot.
content
Give clear and strong examples that match the point you are making.
style
Keep one idea in each sentence. Do not run on; break into two.
content
End with a clear opinion and restate the view in brief.
content
The writer tries to cover both sides of the view.
structure
There is an opening and a closing part that includes a view.
content
Some examples are used to back up points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
Look at other essays: