IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people feel that we should protect all wild animals. Other people think that only some wild animals should be protected. Discuss both points of view and give your opinon.

People have different views
whether
Change preposition
on whether
show examples
 we should preserve all wild
animals
Use synonyms
 , or protect only a particular species of them .
While
Linking Words
 I understand the reasons for the second argument , I believe that the first perspective is more reasonable . On one hand , those who support that we should protect only some of the wild
animals
Use synonyms
 argue that not all the
animals
Use synonyms
 in the
wildereness
Correct your spelling
wilderness
should be protected .
This
Linking Words
 is
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they have
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
 relationship and experiences with only specific
animals
Use synonyms
 .
For example
Linking Words
 , the vast majority of humans mostly tend to only
welfare
Check wording
care for
show examples
cats or dogs .
This
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
means that they have
biased
Wrong verb form
a bias
show examples
to
Change preposition
towards
show examples
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 type of
Use synonyms
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
. Which has played a vital role of
preferences
Correct article usage
the preferences
show examples
 of people toward which species should be preserved .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , I believe that the second argument is better because they
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not biased
to
Change preposition
towards
show examples
 any type of
Use synonyms
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
, and they think in a sensible way that all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
 have the right to live .
This
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
means that as long as we preserve the greatest number of
animals
Use synonyms
 in the wild , as
much
Rephrase
well
show examples
 as of healthier environment ,
stablity
Correct your spelling
stability
 of the
Use synonyms
animals
Check wording
animals'
show examples
 habitat and ensuring a
sustinable
Correct your spelling
sustainable
 source of food to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity .
For example
Linking Words
 , the countries had put
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 insights into preserving as much as they can of the wild for these reasons . In conclusion ,
Linking Words
Although
Fix capitalization
although
show examples
 both views have some merit , I am
trully
Correct your spelling
truly
 convinced that concentrating on
wide
Correct article usage
a wide
show examples
 range of the wild is
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 beneficial approach
overall
Linking Words
 .

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structure
Make a clear plan before you write. In each paragraph talk about one main idea and give one clear example.
vocabulary
Work on word choice. Use easy and clear words. Some phrases are not right.
grammar
Check grammar. The use of 'which has played' and other phrases are not right.
conclusion
Write a short, strong conclusion that restates your view.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas fit together.
content
There is a clear view and a try to compare sides.
examples
You give an example of animals like cats and dogs to show the idea of care.
argument
You use an opinion in the end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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