IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the participants who have entered Olympics since it began. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the participants who have entered Olympics since it began. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph depicts the male and female
participants
Use synonyms
 who have entered
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
 since it began.
Overall
Linking Words
, at the early stage, the male
participants
Use synonyms
 were higher compared to females, but
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period, the gap between both genders disappeared.
Total
Correct article usage
The total
show examples
 number of
participants
Use synonyms
 increased significantly to around 12,000. In the
year
Use synonyms
 1924, male
participants
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 slightly above 2,000. Later, slightly increased to just under 6,000 and gradually reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more or less 6,000 in 2004,
while
Linking Words
 female
participants
Use synonyms
 were just under a quarter in 1924 and slightly grew to
exact
Replace the word
exactly
show examples
 2,000 in the
year
Use synonyms
 1984, the trend was inclined
upto
Use the right word
up to
show examples
 1984,followed by a dramatic increase
about
Change preposition
to about
show examples
 6,000 in 2004. The total number of
participants
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 just below 4,000 in the
year
Use synonyms
 1924 and gradually increased to 6000 in 1944, followed by nearly 8000 in 1964, and
exact
Replace the word
exactly
show examples
 8000in the
year
Use synonyms
 1984
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
At the end
Linking Words
 of the period, the number rose to 12,000 in 2004.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words participants, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
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