IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe government should spend money 💰 on building train 🚊 and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In society today, life has a great deal, especially in money. It includes the
train
Use synonyms
 building. Some
people
Use synonyms
 spend money on the
train
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,
while
Linking Words
 others spend money on the roads.
Thus
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,I believe that there are several important points.
This
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 assay will provide key information to support the topic. On the one hand, in terms of disagreements, there are many harmful points.
This
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 is
due to
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 many dramatic marks.
First,
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the hard strategy is the most important reason.
This
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 will increase the level of traffic.
As a result
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,
people
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 become angry.
Secondly
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, the high cost of the road tools is another major point.
For example
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, the wood and the iron are the highest tools.
This
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 will make the work harder than other work.
Finally
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, all these marks support the disagreements.
On the other hand
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, in terms of agreements, there are several benefits.
This
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 is
due to
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 many significant tips.
First,
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the smart approach is the most important reason.
This
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 will decrease the level of traffic.
As a result
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,
people
Use synonyms
 become happy.
Second,
Linking Words
the cheap tools are the most important tip.
This
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 will create a perfect work .
As a result
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, the government can build more than one
train
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.
For example
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, the school
train
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 is the best example.
Finally
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, all these tips support the agreements. In conclusion,
according to
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 the given data, there are many benefits.
However
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, there are major drawbacks.
Thus
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, the government recommend the local
people
Use synonyms
 follow the right tips for a positive goal and a better life.
Although
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 there are many outcomes and incomes, I respect the agreements

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task response
Make a clear plan in the intro. Say what views you will discuss and what view you give. This helps the reader know your stance.
coherence
Explain points more simply and directly. Use one idea per sentence and give a simple example.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas evenly: first, also, but, however, finally.
content
Stick to the topic about transport and traffic. Do not add too many extra ideas.
grammar
Check grammar and sentence form. Use simple verb forms correctly.
coherence
You tried to discuss both sides and to give a view at the end.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion, which is good for task structure.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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