IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In marriages today, some argue that i t i s the responsibility o f both spouses t o earn a living for the family. To what extent d o you agree o r disagree?

Nowadays, some people
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
 that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
parnerts
Correct your spelling
partners
 should take financial
responsibilities
Use synonyms
 equally. I totally disagree with
statement
Correct article usage
the statement
show examples
.
Linking Words
Firstly
Punctuation problem
Firstly,
show examples
 it can
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
childcare
Change preposition
to childcare
show examples
 and
housechore
Correct your spelling
housework
neglating
Correct your spelling
neglect
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it will be unfair to accept it as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mandatory. I strongly believe,families and
partners
Use synonyms
 should choose their needs and lifestyle by themselves without any social pressure. What is more family structure in
West
Correct article usage
the West
show examples
 and
East
Correct article usage
the East
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 totally different.
While
Linking Words
 for some families working
2
Change preposition
with 2
show examples
partners
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
seems normal,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
for some it seems ridiculous and unacceptable. In my opinion,cultural and geographical
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 have a tremendous impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 determining family roles.The most important thing is
give
Verb problem
to give
show examples
partners
Use synonyms
 a chance to choose their realities. It is not fair to push them
act
Verb problem
to act
show examples
 under social and
ecenomic
Correct your spelling
economic
 pressure.
For instance
Linking Words
 ,in
Egypt
Add a comma
Egypt,
show examples
 the majority of
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 are men,
women
Use synonyms
not
Verb problem
are not
show examples
 willing to
work
Use synonyms
 outside
due to
Linking Words
homechores
Correct your spelling
household
responsibilities
Use synonyms
 and childcare.
Secondly
Linking Words
,it can be challenging and exhausting for some
women
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 take care
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 child.
Specially
Replace the word
Especially
show examples
,for
women
Use synonyms
 who
gave
Use the right word
have
show examples
birth
Verb problem
given birth
show examples
 and are
forcing
Wrong verb form
forced to
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 immediately without spending much time with their kids.It may require extra support and help. It was a survey in German among working
women
Use synonyms
 about their financial
responsibilities
Use synonyms
the
Punctuation problem
. The
show examples
 result was
shoching
Correct your spelling
shocking
..The majority
Use synonyms
women
Change preposition
of women
show examples
 were happy if they had
Correct article usage
the change
show examples
change
Use the right word
chance
show examples
 to stay at home with their kids and didn't
work
Use synonyms
. What is more, in Germany
families
Punctuation problem
, families
show examples
delaying
Verb problem
are delaying
show examples
 having children due to social and economic reasons. In
coclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 am totally disgree with the
mandotory
Correct your spelling
mandatory
 of
partners
Use synonyms
 sharing
financil
Correct your spelling
financial
responsibilities
Use synonyms
. I
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
 it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 to be a
choose
Replace the word
choice
show examples
 and every family may choose their needs freely.

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structure
Plan your essay with a clear plan. Start with one line that says your view. Then give 2-3 reasons. End with a short finish that restates your view.
planning
Use one idea per paragraph. Each paragraph should have a clear point and a simple example.
grammar
Check spell and grammar. Read aloud to find mistakes and fix them.
development
Add more examples and explain them. Show how they back your idea.
position
You show a clear view that you disagree with the statement.
content
You add real place examples like Egypt and Germany in your idea.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • both
  • partners
  • earn
  • money
  • family
  • agree
  • disagree
  • reason
  • benefit
  • risk
  • child
  • care
  • cost
  • culture
  • tradition
  • modern
  • balance
  • work
  • home
  • duties
  • share
  • divid
  • flexible
  • hours
  • job
  • salary
  • income
  • security
  • policy
  • support
  • society
  • equality
  • role
  • responsibility
  • decision
  • choice
  • opinion
  • view
  • whereas
  • however
  • in addition
  • overall
  • in conclusion
  • kid
  • kids
  • parent
  • parents
  • therefore
  • this
  • that
What to do next:
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