IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

There are an increasing number of serious crime committed each year. while some people say the best way would be to use the death penalty as deterrent, many people say that other measures will be needed. discuss both views and give opinoin.

Due to
Linking Words
 the increasing number of felonies committed yearly, many people have mixed opinions. Some individuals
claims
Correct subject-verb agreement
claim
show examples
 that
utilizing
Change the spelling
utilising
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Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
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penalty
Use synonyms
 as a deterrent.
However
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, others
suggesting
Wrong verb form
suggest
show examples
 that alternative solutions are required. Personally, I can neither agree nor disagree with the two statements. On the one hand, execution is the highest punishment that a perpetrator could
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 it has the power to fully frighten these criminals. Having
this
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 deterrent as the solution to solve felonies will certainly
drops
Correct subject-verb agreement
drop
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 the crime rates and the victims
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have suffered
by
Change preposition
from
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 these acts.
For instance
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, by implementing policies and
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
penalty
Use synonyms
 to tackle
this
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 phenomenon, North Korea has the lowest crime
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
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 in the world. Had it not been for the punishment, felonies would continue to be
such
Linking Words
 a hassle for the authorities to take care of.
On the other hand
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,
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
penalty
Use synonyms
 is often considered too immoral and inhumane even for treating individuals who have committed serious crimes.
Thus
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, creating and implementing novel policies and deterrents will be better for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. Many nations
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as Mexico, which
is
Verb problem
has
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 one of the highest crime rates related to drug dealing in the
world
Punctuation problem
world,
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 utilised less extreme penalties to deal with
such
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 as life imprisonment
confinement
Punctuation problem
, confinement
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 or having to serve the community for the rest of their lives under the surveillance of the authority.
Therefore
Linking Words
, there are many alternative options to deal with these delinquents , not just
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
penalty
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, whether having need to resort to
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
penalty
Use synonyms
 or
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
 more prevalent measures to tackle
this
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 crisis. In my point of view, we should
neither
Rephrase
not
show examples
 focus on one
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
but
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
try our best to mitigate the situation.

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task
Your view is not clear. Say one clear view in the end and stick to it.
coherence
Plan the essay. Put one idea per paragraph and keep order simple.
language
Fix grammar and spell words right. Use short, plain sentences.
content
Choose real and simple examples. Do not rely on wrong facts.
content
You show both sides of the issue.
structure
You try to give examples to back up ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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