IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below gives information about the number of people who smoked cigarettes in the UK between 2011 and 2021. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the number of people who smoked cigarettes in the UK between 2011 and 2021. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart presents data about the
number
Use synonyms
 of individuals who smoked cigarettes in the UK from 2011 to 2021.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of men who smoked these years has fluctuated. The women
smokers
Use synonyms
 is decreasing every
year
Use synonyms
. Research made a study of male
smokers
Use synonyms
 in the UK. They said it decreased to 2.5
million
Use synonyms
 in 2016.
Then
Linking Words
, it rose to nearly 3
million
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2019. In 2021, the
number
Use synonyms
 of men
smokers
Use synonyms
 has fallen gradually to one
million
Use synonyms
. The statistics indicated that the
number
Use synonyms
 of women declined rapidly from 2011 to 2013. From 2014, the
perecantages
Correct your spelling
percentages
 started to increase to 1.5
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 it fell slightly to 1
million
Use synonyms
. The
number
Use synonyms
 of female
cigarettes
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarette
show examples
smokers
Use synonyms
 fluctuated between 2016 and 2019. In the
year
Use synonyms
 2020, data
has
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased again to close 1.25
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 it dropped to 750,000 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2021.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, smokers, year, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • decrease
  • increase
  • peak
  • trough
  • demographics
  • public health
  • legislation
  • smoking cessation
  • trajectory
  • monitoring
  • campaigns
  • data analysis
  • notable differences
  • comparative analysis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: