IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Percentage of Australian exports to four countries from 1990 - 2012

The line graph compares four regions in terms of Australian
exports
Use synonyms
 between 1990 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the four regions experienced different trends in the time period.
While
Linking Words
exports
Use synonyms
 from Australia to China rose dramatically,
exports
Use synonyms
 to Japan and the US declined noticeably. Meanwhile,
exports
Use synonyms
 to India
growth
Replace the word
grow
show examples
 steadily. As the graph illustrates,
exports
Use synonyms
 to China began at approximately 3% and increased steadily to around 14% by 2008. Afterwards, the figure surged dramatically, reaching almost 30% in 2012. Regarding
exports
Use synonyms
 to India, the figure remained relatively low at about 1% at the beginning before it began to rise slowly after 2000.
Then
Linking Words
, it reached roughly 7% by the end of the period, becoming almost equal to that of the United States.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
exports
Use synonyms
 to Japan and the United States followed a downward trend throughout the period. Japan recorded the highest proportion at around 25% in 1990, but
this
Linking Words
 figure declined gradually, reaching approximately 18% by 2012.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
exports
Use synonyms
 to the US started at about 11% and dropped slightly to around 8% at
end
Correct article usage
the end
show examples
 of the timeframe despite minor fluctuations.

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structure
Add a short ending line to sum up the report.
grammar
Fix phrasing like 'growth' to 'grew' and keep past tense for past data.
coherence
Use more linking words to show ideas flow.
cohesion
Present data in a steady order and keep two or three ideas per paragraph.
content
All four regions are mentioned with data.
structure
The writing uses clear signs like 'in contrast' to show change.
content
The overall trend for China is clear.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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