IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is asserted that several
people
Use synonyms
 claim that it is very significant to spend a huge amount of wealth for the development of railways in many countries, other argue that the renovation of
transport
Use synonyms
 sector required more attention, I disagree with the latter point of view, because manufacturing of new lines of electric trains can provide more facility to lower class
people
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 can benefit our
environment
Use synonyms
. The construction of train stations
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more
environmental
Replace the word
environmentally
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 friendly and
charge
Verb problem
costs
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 less
budget
Check wording
apply
show examples
to the public. Electric trains consume less amount of fuel and emit
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
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 toxic pollutants to
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
,the public can easily purchase a train ticket for a far destination on
low
Correct article usage
a low
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 budget and can
commemorate
Verb problem
enjoy
show examples
 good facilities.To illustrate, Oxford University has revealed that the metro project in England has become a convenient
transport
Use synonyms
 for the population. By the metro
subway public
Correct word order
public subway
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, they can go to their schools and offices on
low
Correct article usage
a low
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finance
Check wording
budget
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.
Buses
Fix the agreement mistake
Bus
show examples
 renovation is
also
Linking Words
important
Correct article usage
an important
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 factor for the convenience of
people
Use synonyms
. If there are no proper air conditioner systems and good seats available to passengers, they
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
must choose other transports, which
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 them
doorstep
Change preposition
with doorstep
show examples
 facilities to their destinations, including corporations,student institutes ,and government official buildings.To illustrate, in China and South Korea, public buses operate 24 hours per week, and facilitate
public
Correct article usage
the public
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 urban and
rular
Correct your spelling
rural
 areas in
good
Correct article usage
a good
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enviorment
Correct your spelling
environment
to reach destinations. But new construction and
repairement
Correct your spelling
repair
of old buses
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 more disadvantages,
Correct word choice
as it
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
 more traffic congestion and pollution to the
environment
Use synonyms
. In Dubai,
aporoximetaly evey
Correct your spelling
approximately every
 day
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
, people
show examples
Verb problem
are struck
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struck
Use the right word
stuck
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 in traffic jams for 4 to 5 hours.
This
Linking Words
 situation happens
due to
Linking Words
 more taxis and public
transport
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
transport
Use synonyms
 development and renovation are important for the prosperity of a country. But in my opinion, the development of the new railway is
more good
Correct word choice
better
show examples
 for poor nations and for the
environment
Use synonyms
 compared to
improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
show examples
 in other public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
show examples
.

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structure
Plan a clear intro that states both views and your clear stance, then 2-3 supporting points for each view.
grammar
Use simple sentence forms. Check subject-verb and noun plural where needed.
content
Give a real and easy example for each main point and link them to the view.
vocabulary
Improve spelling and word choice. Use common words and spell easy terms correctly.
idea
The writer starts with the idea of a debate and ends with a view.
coherence
There are some linking words to show flow.
content
An attempt to compare rail and bus options.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
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