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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe the best way to reduce the number of accidents on the road is to further limit the speed of the vehicle. Others think there are better ways to tackle this issue. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

While
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 some individuals suggest that the most efficient way to reduce the amount of traffic crisis is to restrict the speed limit of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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transportation. Others believe that there certainly are more viable options to tackle
this
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 issue. In my point of view, I tend to agree with the second statement for a variety of reasons. On the one hand, having a mandatory restriction on the speed of the vehicle is a genius solution to lower the accidents on the
road
Use synonyms
.
To begin
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 with, it
alleviate
Correct subject-verb agreement
alleviates
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 the anxiety of the drivers on the
road
Use synonyms
as well as
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 the traffic supervisors, which would make them more
focus
Replace the word
focused
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 on the
road
Use synonyms
 and be more lenient when
handle
Wrong verb form
handling
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 the vehicle.
For instance
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, many nations
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 implemented
this
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 policy into their law by putting up signs to remind
the
Correct article usage
apply
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pedestrians and
the
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apply
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drivers to slow down in various areas
such
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 as school zones,
neighborhood
Use the right word
neighbourhoods
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.
Thus
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, significantly drops the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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overall
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 accidents in that area.
On the other hand
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, it is not sufficient to only have individuals lower their speed ,so the authorities could add or have alternatives to help
and
Correct word choice
apply
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mitigate the phenomenon.
Firstly
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,
raise
Wrong verb form
raising
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 the fines
up
Rephrase
several times
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 higher than normal several times would be a viable option to consider since
not
Correct pronoun usage
it not
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 only
frighten
Correct subject-verb agreement
frightens
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 the nonchalant drivers but
also
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influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
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 the others to obey the law and policies more, leading to them
drive
Wrong verb form
driving
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 more carefully.
Secondly
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, having more human resources in the police department to catch the outlaw
that is
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 a menace to society is
also
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 indubitably a great choice.
For instance
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, chasing the criminals would
make
Verb problem
cause
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congestions
Fix the agreement mistake
congestion
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 and
road
Use synonyms
 accidents
become
Verb problem
to become
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 more common.
Therefore
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, having more officers would certainly be more efficient. In conclusion, whether implementing a speed limit or creating alternative options to mitigate
traffic
Correct article usage
the traffic
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crisis
Punctuation problem
crisis,
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 it is best for the authorities to get
this
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 phenomenon under control. Personally, I tend to agree with generating more laws to tackle
this
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 issue.

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content
Plan before you write. Have a clear start, middle and end. Use a simple plan and stay on one idea in each paragraph.
language
content
Give each point with a clear reason and small, easy example. Do not add too many long words.
content
The writer shows a clear view and a plan to talk about both sides.
content
There are real ideas like speed limit and other ways to cut harm on the road.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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