IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays there are more workers working from home and more students studying from home due to the fact that computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. To what extent do the benefits of computer technology outweigh the disadvantages?

There are a lot of people working and studying from home lately. It’s happening because
computers
Use synonyms
 and technologies are cheaper and easier to access. The benefits of
technology
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 definitely outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
 in various aspects. The most important thing for people is usually to
keep
Verb problem
maintain
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good health, but
computer
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technology
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 can worsen it in many different ways. The most popular problem
computers
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 bring is bad eyesight. If
one
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 uses
technology
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 with screens the whole day without a single break,
one
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 would get eye pain, and if
such
Linking Words
 cases appear
regularly
Punctuation problem
regularly,
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one
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’s eyesight can significantly worsen.
One
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 can
also
Linking Words
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
back pain that leads to bad posture, all
thanks
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 to sitting
hours
Change preposition
for hours
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 without moving a lot
while
Linking Words
 working on a
computer
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.  There are many advantages to
computer
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technology
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too
Punctuation problem
, too
show examples
. Working remotely is convenient
thanks
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 to online platforms and
technology
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.
One
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 can work
while
Linking Words
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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 or being sick. Another advantage of
computers
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 is that keeping in contact with colleagues is easily possible.
One
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 can tell coworkers about any problem
Linking Words
such
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, such
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 as a new task or someone’s mistake
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 not being in the office
using
Punctuation problem
, using
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 messengers or emails. A lot of tasks can be done online
Use synonyms
thanks
Punctuation problem
, thanks
show examples
 to
technology
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too
Punctuation problem
, too
show examples
.
One
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 can order food from online shops, send someone money and count
one
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’s expenses
thanks
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 to online access to
one
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’s bank account or learn something new using
Linking Words
such websites
Correct word order
websites such
show examples
 as Google or Yandex in a span of fifteen minutes.  Undoubtedly,
computer
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technology
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’s advantages incredibly outweigh
drawbacks
Correct pronoun usage
its drawbacks
show examples
, especially ones that can be easily solved.
Benefits
Correct article usage
The benefits
show examples
Use synonyms
computer
Change preposition
of computer
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
made
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 the process of using
computers
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 more convenient and faster,
thus
Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
 is a great tool for everyday use.

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task response
Your answer takes a clear position that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. To raise the score, give more detailed evidence or examples.
task response
Begin with a short statement that shows your view, and say what points you will talk about.
coherence cohesion
Make one idea in each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two details.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas go together (for example, first, also, but, because). This helps the flow.
coherence cohesion
Check grammar and word use, especially with plural forms and common mistakes with articles and verbs.
coherence cohesion
The ending should restate your view and briefly sum up the main points.
content
Clear view that benefits outweigh drawbacks.
content
Good use of examples about remote work and online tasks.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Telecommuting
  • Remote work
  • Virtual learning
  • Digital divide
  • Cybersecurity
  • Work-life balance
  • Screen time
  • Synchronous and asynchronous communication
  • Virtual collaboration
  • Ergonomics
  • Teleconferencing tools
  • Productivity software
  • Digital literacy
  • Cloud-based services
  • Telework
  • Flextime
  • Online education
  • Distance learning
  • Video conferencing
What to do next:
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