IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some believe that cosmetic procedures and plastic surgery should be banned as they pose health risks, while others argue they should be allowed. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Of late, cosmetic
procedures
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 and
plastic
Use synonyms
 surgery
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 gained a growing popularity among people.
However
Linking Words
, opinions remain sharply divided regarding the need for it in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
While
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 a few individuals opine that these areas of science must not be allowed
due to
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 their potential detrimental effects on
health
Use synonyms
, others favour their existence. The following essay outlines both these views before discussing my opinion on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
To begin
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 with, both cosmetology and
plastic
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sugery
Correct your spelling
surgery
 pose potential
health
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 risks. In explanation, every invasive
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procedures
Fix the agreement mistake
procedure
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 has a number of adverse reactions associated with it.
For instance
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, there has been an increasing incidence of scalp infections following hair transplant
procedures
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 in Kerala, a state
of
Change preposition
in
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 India, in the
last
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 year. The reason is attributed to a breach in aseptic precautions.
Furthermore
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,
bariatic
Correct your spelling
bariatric
 surgeries for obesity
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a
high
Use the right word
high-risk
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risk
Use synonyms
 procedure, which is even a threat to human life.
Hence
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,
well-being
Correct article usage
the well-being
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 of an individual is endangered in these
procedures
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.
On the other hand
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, proponents of these medicinal branches argue that they must be allowed, owing to their need in the healthcare system.
Plastic
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 surgery is an important pillar of multidisciplinary patient care,
escpecially
Correct your spelling
especially
 in emergency and critical care departments.
For example
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, surgical interventions in road traffic
accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
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 and burn cases often require the expertise of a
plastic
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 surgeon.
In addition
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, being
aestetically
Correct your spelling
aesthetically
 appealing is a personal choice which cannot be interfered
by
Change preposition
with by
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 a third party. In my opinion, advanced scientific areas,
such
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 as cosmetology and
plastic
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 surgery, can never be
swiped
Use the right word
wiped
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 off completely. They are essential for
public
Correct article usage
the public
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health
Use synonyms
 mandate. Considering the fact that they are a potential
risk
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 to life,
procedures
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 should be properly regulated to reduce their downside. Ensuring a complete
health
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risk
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 assessment before any
such
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procedures
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 can help to curate a patient-centred treatment plan, ultimately resulting in
Correct article usage
a lowered
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lowered
Use the right word
lower
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 rate of adverse effects. In conclusion, through strategic
health
Use synonyms
risk
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 analysis and patient-centred
health
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 amenities, the
individual
Check wording
individual's
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 well-being can be ensured.
Thus
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, cosmetic and
plastic
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 surgical
procedures
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 need to
regulated
Verb problem
be regulated
show examples
 to prevent
health
Use synonyms
 risks.

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improvement
State your view clearly at the end and add 2-3 main ideas with simple examples to show your answer is complete.
improvement
Use clear links between ideas. Keep one main idea in each paragraph and finish with a short wrap up. Use easy link words like and, also, but, so.
improvement
Use plain words and short sentences. Check key verbs and spell simple names correctly.
strength
Essay has a plan with an intro, body, and ending.
strength
It shows both sides and gives the writer’s view.
strength
Examples are used to back up points.
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