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Writing Samples
Band 5

**Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?**

Global warming is a huge problem these days. It is said that
here
Use the right word
there
show examples
 is nothing individuals can do to make the environment better. The only ones who have an
impact
Use synonyms
 are large communities and governments. Even though some people definitely agree with
this
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, others may absolutely disagree with it.
Firstly
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, massive changes are not the only ones that can have a significant
impact
Use synonyms
 on the environment.
For instance
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, by choosing to drive public transport, you are already reducing the amount of carbon dioxide
that is
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 being released into the atmosphere. If everyone
would drive
Wrong verb form
drove
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 their own cars, there would be about 40 times more
poluttion
Correct your spelling
pollution
 in the air.
There for
Use the right word
Therefore
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,
this
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 small habit can really make a drastic change.
Secondly
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, most of the trash we consume is packaging. By choosing to use no-plastic bags or boxes, society can make a big
impact
Use synonyms
 on our environment. As there have been many cases where turtles were killed by plastic straws and oceans
polluted
Verb problem
are polluted
show examples
 with plastic bags. It is significantly important
to conclude
Linking Words
 where your thrown-away trash is going to end up.
Thirdly
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, another point to consider is the
impact
Use synonyms
 that large parties and governments can have on the ecosystem. One clear example is, again, these non-environmentally friendly packagings, which are produced by large teams. If the government prohibits the use of plastic in containers and companies stop producing it, the problem can be solved more effectively.
As a result
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, people will have no choice but to use eco wraps.
To conclude
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, I agree that some individuals might have a much bigger clash on slowing down global warming, but if everyone puts a slight effort into making some changes in their daily lifestyle, society will be as important as the government.

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Task Response
Be clear about your view in the first lines and keep it through the essay.
Task Response
Add more strong reasons and explain how they link to your view.
Task Response
Give more full and varied examples and show how each one backs your claim.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make a simple plan before you write. Use one big idea in each paragraph and use connecting words to move between ideas.
Language
Check spelling and grammar and fix small errors like pollution, there for, and other mis-spells.
Content
You show a clear view on the topic.
Content
You give ideas that show how people can help the environment.
Structure
Intro and conclusion are present.
Structure
You use numbering like First, Second, Third to order ideas.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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