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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Consumers are faced with increasing number of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measure can be taken to protect them?

In today’s world,
advertisements
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 are ubiquitous, appearing in almost every corner of our lives. Whether people are waiting at a bus stop, watching television, or browsing online, they are constantly exposed to marketing messages.
Although
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consumers
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 are capable of making independent choices,
advertisements
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 still play a significant role in shaping their preferences and purchasing behaviour. On the one hand, the purchasing power of individuals largely determines what they buy.
For instance
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, if a person cannot afford a luxury cruise in Europe, no amount of advertising can change the reality. In
this
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 sense,
consumers
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’ financial circumstances and genuine needs have a stronger influence on their decision than
advertisements
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 do
,
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.
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On the other hand
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,
advertisements
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 are designed to trigger emotions and desire, often leading people to make
impulsive
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impulsive,
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 irrational purchases. Many companies use persuasive or even misleading techniques,
such
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 as exaggerating the benefits of their products, to attract buyers.
As a result
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,
consumers
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 may be subtly manipulated and lose objectivity when making purchasing decisions. Several measures can be taken to reduce the negative effects of advertising.
Firstly
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, governments should strengthen regulations to prohibit deceptive or exaggerated claims in
advertisements
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.
Secondly
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, parents can monitor the media content their children consume to prevent exposure to inappropriate or manipulative
advertisements
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.
Moreover
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,
consumers
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 themselves can choose ad-free subscriptions on platforms
such
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 as YouTube and Netflix to minimise constant exposure. In conclusion,
while
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advertisements
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 cannot force people to buy beyond their means, they so influence consumer choices by appealing to emotions and desires. Stronger government regulations and greater awareness among the public can help protect
consumers
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 from the overwhelming
powering
Replace the word
power
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 of modern advertising.

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task response
Make one main idea in each paragraph and end with a clear link to the question.
grammar
Use periods for ends of sentences and check for run on lines to improve flow.
content
Add two or three small proofs from life or facts to show how ads may push choice.
coherence
Keep to simple map: intro with view, two body para of point and measure, then a brief ending.
lexical resource
Check spelling and use common high use words only.
strength
The essay shows both sides, and the idea that money and need can hold up buying.
strength
It offers real steps to help reduce bad ads, not just talk.
strength
There is an ending that sums up the view.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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