IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Online shopping is becoming increasingly popular. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Shopping online is gaining widespread popularity in
each
Correct determiner usage
every
show examples
 corner of the world.
While
Linking Words
 online shopping has some drawbacks
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 laziness in society,
wrong
Correct word choice
and wrong
show examples
 information about a
product
Use synonyms
, I believe it has more benefits
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as cheap prices and free delivery. One of the main advantages of shopping online is having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
discount
Fix the agreement mistake
discounts
show examples
 and lower prices for
products
Use synonyms
 which are expensive in local markets.
This
Linking Words
 is because
gives
Correct pronoun usage
it gives
show examples
 opportunities to customers to get a discount, but they make some
products
Use synonyms
 more expensive to
have
Verb problem
make
show examples
 a profit.
For example
Linking Words
, one company named Uzum sells
products
Use synonyms
 almost for free.
Second
Correct article usage
The second
show examples
 benefit of online shopping is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free delivery from
storage
Correct article usage
the storage
show examples
 to your house or to the pick-up point, which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 almost everywhere.
For example
Linking Words
, Amazon delivers a box with your items to your doorstep for free
depending
Punctuation problem
, depending
show examples
 on
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 state.
However
Linking Words
, online shopping has disadvantages for all young generations who aren’t interested in shopping in some stores or
some
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
shops.
This
Linking Words
 is mainly because the teenagers and some adults don’t want to spend their time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
searching for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
goods and going to special markets or places to get their
products
Use synonyms
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they basically order
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 online platforms where they buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a discount, but they will
Verb problem
become addict
show examples
addict
Replace the word
addicted
show examples
 to it and won’t understand the power of
bargain
Check wording
bargaining
show examples
 with sellers.
For instance
Linking Words
, my friend who has become extremely lazy, orders
products
Use synonyms
form
Use the right word
from
show examples
 some markets on the web and spends his time for nothing.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some sellers might enter the wrong
product
Use synonyms
 to make money and scam people.
This
Linking Words
 is because some people want to get more money by selling something fake.
For example
Linking Words
, people usually buy
smart phones
Use the right word
smartphones
show examples
 and other gadgets from the Web
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they sometimes get scammed because they haven’t seen the
product
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the price was extremely cheap
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they get scammed
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they can’t return
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
product
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, shopping online has some disadvantages,
while
Linking Words
 sometimes it has a lot more benefits than disadvantages in price and deliveries.

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clarity
Plan your answer with a clear view at the start. State two or three main points for both sides.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words so the flow is easy to read.
content
Each paragraph should have one main idea and a small example. Add detail to explain.
grammar
Fix grammar and spelling, and use correct verb form.
structure
End with a clear view and do not add new ideas in the end.
content
You show both side of the issue and give some examples.
lexical
You use examples like price, delivery, and scams.
content
You give some real life ideas that can help the reader see the topic.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • e-commerce
  • physical store
  • product range
  • discounts and promotions
  • job losses
  • local businesses
  • environmental impact
  • packaging waste
  • carbon emissions
  • security and privacy concerns
  • fraud
  • data breaches
What to do next:
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