The pie charts compare the amount of online shopping sales for retail parts in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Moreover, those are divided into four categories: travel, film/music, book, and clothes.

The pie charts compare the amount of online shopping sales for retail parts in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Moreover, those are divided into four categories: travel, film/music, book, and clothes.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The pie charts compare the amount of online shopping sales for retail parts in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Moreover, those are divided into four categories: travel, film/music, book, and clothes.
These charts compare the number of online
shopping
Replace the word
shoppers
show examples
in New Zealand for various categories in 2003 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
, travel had the highest percentage of all in 2003. Meanwhile,
this
Linking Words
trend changed to film and music in 2013. In 2003, 36 per
cent
Use synonyms
of shopping sales were from driving sectors, which
also
Linking Words
became the highest value.
Moreover
Linking Words
, followed by clothes, it reached almost one-fourth. With 3 per
cent
Use synonyms
lower than clothes, film and music became the third highest of all.
Lastly
Linking Words
, books contributed the least, with just 19 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Different
Correct article usage
A different
show examples
trend from before, for 10 years, film and music became a popular sector for one-
third,
Linking Words
but
this
Linking Words
amount was not as high as travel in 2003.
Then
Linking Words
, followed by travel with 29 per
cent
Use synonyms
. After that, books got 22
percentages
Check wording
per cent
show examples
of all.
Lastly
Linking Words
, clothes reached the lowest percentage with just 16 per
cent
Use synonyms
. It made
this
Linking Words
sector
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
the most unpopular over the years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "lastly".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compare" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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