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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph compares the sales of different music formats from 1994 to 2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph compares the sales of different music formats from 1994 to 2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The line chart illustrates the
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 for
sales
Use synonyms
 of several
music
Use synonyms
 formats from 1994 to 2006.
Overal
Use the right word
Overall
show examples
, it was
obwious
Correct your spelling
obvious
 that other
music
Use synonyms
 formats except Digital
Music
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
losts
Correct your spelling
lost
 their popularity
by
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the years.
Initally
Correct your spelling
Initially
,
cds
Use the right word
CDs
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
casettes
Correct your spelling
cassette
sales
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 about 400
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 per year.
Cd
Use the right word
CD
show examples
music
Use synonyms
 format increased slightly for 6 years and reached
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 peak
point
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
Unfortunately
Add a comma
Unfortunately,
show examples
 it started to
loose it's
Use the right word
lose its
show examples
 popularity sharply in 2000 and dipped throughout the 2006 period.
Linking Words
Also
Punctuation problem
Also,
show examples
Use synonyms
casettes
Correct your spelling
cassette
sales
Use synonyms
 lost
it's
Check wording
their
show examples
 popularity and fell
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
0
point
Check wording
per cent
show examples
 in 2006.
However
Linking Words
, digital
music
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
, which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 0 for
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 4 years, started in 2000.
While
Linking Words
cds
Use the right word
CDs
show examples
 and
Use synonyms
casettes
Correct your spelling
cassettes
fell
Punctuation problem
fell,
show examples
 digital
music
Use synonyms
 started
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 upward trend.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 second year digital format
cathed
Verb problem
caught
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
casettes
Correct your spelling
cassettes
. It increased sharply
after
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2002 to 2006.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, music, casettes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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